I wasn’t even going to post because I had a horrible binge day today and why relive it here for the world to read? But, my oatmeal this morning was so pretty (which is rare for me) and I wanted to post at least that. I chomped on grapes all day, I always do this and I tried to stop myself by serving it in a little bowl, but I kept going back for more anyways. I didn’t have time to eat lunch until 1:30 and by then I was super hungry. I had soup, bread and brussel spouts. I wasn’t full at the end so I ate a bunch of almonds, raisins and choc chips. After more work I was hungry at 3:30 so I had an apple…ten minutes later I was MORE hungry than before, so I had a VitaTop with PB, but that still didn’t do it! That’s when it went all down hill from there I just couldn’t stop! I ate a Z bar and a Clif bar randomly along with trail mix. Boo. Dinner was leftover spaghetti and garlic bread. I didn’t even stop after that and ate this pub mix (I took a pic for accountability, but I ate a lot more than shown).
I really need to figure out why I do this. I was not hungry when I started to binge since I just had a snack. I should have waited for my stomach to realize I was full. I need to stop after a snack and wait 15 minutes before I eat more. I also need to make sure I have a complete and filling mealsso I don’t feel super hungry a couple of hours later. Also, I am stressed about applying to grad school and work right now. I need to talk or write about these things and not suppress my feelings and not turn to food!
Thanks for listening, I was not going to post today’s eats since I didn’t take pics of all the crap I ate on the binge. And it’s definitely frustrating and embarrassing to admit. But, I feel a lot better now. Hopefully I am taking steps in the right direction. I know when I was restricting and binging during college it was a lot worse. It is a slow process for me, but I am not giving up. Tomorrow is a new day.