I don’t have confessions today as much as random thoughts…
1. I want a really greasy burger joint to sponsor me for a race. Then, I’ll wear their logo with a big ol’ burger on my shirt (which I find funny for some reason?) and get free fries after. The fries seal the deal obviously.
2. Why is tissue so much better than toilet paper? My nose knows.
3. Yep, I officially have a unibrow.
4. I shouldn’t buy a watermelon, they’re out of season… (thought as I put it in my cart)
5. How am I going to get Cindy back for playing that joke on me. Whore.
(She texted me and told me she got a message for me to call this number ASAP! She works at a hospital and said a contact got a hold of her about my account. 603-413-4127 call it, you know you want to)
It’s on Cin.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Hahahaha totally called that number. Get her back by signing up her email for every promotional offer you can find… It will be the gift that keeps on giving, by way of weekly subscriber newsletters
If you haven’t yet discovered them, please try the Kleenex Cool tissues. They will blow your mind in front of your face. Seriously, flippin unbelievable.
HA!!! That was great!! I was laughing and falling off my chair!!!
I like the greasy burger sponsor.
Ben doesn’t like me calling you a whore here so I’m talking it off. I stand by that accusation though.
Oh Ben.
HAHAHAHA! Tell him that won’t stop me from calling you a whore but nice try. 
In my culture having watermelon when you’re sick (with a common cold) is actually supposed to help you get better faster. I swear. I think it’s something to do with all of the vitamins, sugar & water, but it totally works. Use this to justify buying overpriced winter watermelon
AWESOME message! Thank you for making me laugh!!