Confession Thursday–Running Identity Crisis

Last night I had some port wine (it’s a dessert wine) with a Lindt dark chocolate truffle and it was beyond amazing. It was the last one in the package (that I forgot about in the back of my fridge) but I am getting more ASAP!

(It’s best to not keep them in the fridge so the inside is all melty. I took it out earlier so it was perfect.)image

1. I am very loyal to the old blogs that I started reading years and year ago, so I can’t add new ones to my Google Reader. I feel bad, but having more blogs to read isn’t realistic right now today.

2. During my last long run before LB I tried to pee my pants on purpose.

The worst part about this is… I failed.

But, Sheila assured me that I will pee my pants all the time after I have kids. Great! Something else to look forward to.

3. TV is my #2 vice (after sweets).

I’ve been watching TV during lunch everyday, (something I used to try and avoid). I’m enjoying it way too much to go back now.

4. Because of the loot I get from RER deliveries the UPS guy comes all the time. I really want to stop him one time and explain that it’s because of ‘this blog that I do’ and I’m not home all day ordering food packages… 

5. Going back to my old full time job has meant I don’t have the time or need to focus so heavily on RER. It’s sad, but kinda nice too.

6.  I’m still riding high from this weekend’s marathon PR and want to sign up for all the races. ALL of them.

7. Taking a walk is the best part of my day lately. At first I thought it was sad, but it’s great.

8.  I am OBSESSED with instagram but still don’t understand how to follow people back. I’m RunEatRepeat – can I just click on your name and follow you? Is there a way to link to my ‘grams?

9. Sometimes I do feel guilty about eating carbs because everyone is all paleo and shit. This just shows I need to make sure I’m finding balanced influencers.

10. I’m having a running identity crisis. What’s next? Who am I? Why do my toe nails hate me? What’s the meaning of life? Why does foam rolling hurt and feel good at the same time?

Don’t leave me out here on my own – what do you have to confess?


  1. says

    You crack me up! After that great PR I can see why you want to sign up for every race out there! I did that last year and sat all of them out due to an injury so I won’t do it anymore! Peeing your pants! Hilarious!!

  2. says

    I freaking love your honesty Monica. It is so refreshing! FYI if you want to follow someone on Instagram, just click on the star looking thingy, then you can type in names or user names and follow them from there! Also, carbs are amazing and are just too good to ever not have in your life.

  3. Cate says

    I’ve tried to pee my pants and just can’t! I think deep down I am fully aware that I’m running and if I pee, it will run down my leg. I think some part of my brain is stopping me!
    I think to follow a user on Instagram, you need to click on their name then click on follow.

  4. says

    Have a baby, do a jumping jack and you will figure out how to pee your pants real quick. For reals.

    Confessions: I waste A LOT of time during my work day online. I am really enjoying not having to suck in my gut now that I am pregnant. I had cookies for dinner last night while I was busy baking (your easy pumpkin woopie pies). I have never pushed myself 100% in all of my races, there is always a little something left. I am lazy.

  5. Sarah says

    I eat MORE carbs specifically because everyone is going all Paleo and shit. Carbs need love too! Plus, it’s only a matter of time people. It’s only a matter of time.

  6. says

    I tried twice limiting carbs and it just made me an unhappy person. The first time I lost weight because I hated everything I could eat, and the second time I didn’t lose any weight. I found limiting MEAT (and of course, junky carbs most of the time) helped me feel good.

    Confession: I think I’m going to finish my first marathon in about 4 weeks with my body so broken it scares me. Also, I tried learning to pee off the bike this year during half ironman season and I couldn’t either.

  7. says

    That is hilarious about your UPS guy. You should fake a phone conversation in front of him and mention (in exasperation) that you think you’re getting another package as part of your blog. Also, I’m still on the carb bandwagon and happy to be there!

  8. says

    #1 made me laugh out loud!

    My confession: I spend way too much time on the internet instead of doing chores. After teaching and being on my feet all day, I just want to lay on the couch and read about other people’s lives.

  9. says

    I tell my crossfit, paleo in-laws when they try to enlighten me that I’m on the Kenyan diet, since I am training for marathons all the time. They eat a high carb, low fat diet and I run best when I eat those foods!!

  10. says

    Confessions: I waste WAY too much time while I’m supposed to be working. Also, I secretly want to do Tough Mudder next September but I’m afraid to admit it because I don’t want to fail….(I can shoot for a half-marathon but not for Tough Mudder go figure!) Lastly, I felt all badass after my 5k this past weekend, until I saw my finish-line picture. Then I just wanted to cry lol. I looked like a GIANT parade float or something.

  11. says

    Oh my word…my secret’s out eh? As Billy Madison said, “Peeing your pants is cool!”. Anyway, it’s not something I can do on command, just whenever I don’t want to. I’ll confess that sometimes I sneak up to Yogurtland when my kids are at school and hide the carton in the garbage can so they don’t see and get mad at me. It’s a wild live I live!

  12. says

    NEVER feel guilty about eating carbs. Or chocolate. Or anything else that makes you feel good. Eating should be about health, but it should also be about pleasure.

    I think the best part of my day is lying in bed for thirty minutes in the morning, just enjoying the feel of the bed and all the sheets and covers. I also used to think it was sad, but now I feel like it’s awesome that I have a favorite part of my day.

  13. chickpeaDMT says

    MY CONFESSION- i had to quit my job almost 2 months ago because i moved several states away. i’ve applied to 23 new jobs and only 2 places have even responded. i’ve made a list of “things i will buy once i get a job” (i.e. new boots, more health food goodies, new bath mat, polar heart rate monitor etc.) but each week i keep buying something off the list. in fact– i’ve already bought everything i listed here as an example and i still don’t have an income. woops #spendingproblems

  14. says

    I’ve been feeling bad about carbs too. I bought the book, Paleoista and it’s great and insightful and all that jazz but let’s be real. WE NEED CARBS. Also, I just want a piece of pizza some times. I’ve been trying to make at least my lunch and dinner Paleo friendly which allows me to have oatmeal/cereal for breakfast(I’m an addict) as well as a snack or two every day that’s got something more to it.

    P.S. I found RER early on in my healthy living blog days and I love your relaxed views towards everything. I’m trying to adopt that and reading RER really helps!

  15. Maren says

    I love confession thursday! Glad you brought it back. Yes, just click on people and follow them back…including me @marenring :) and if it makes you feel better, I am not paleo and never will be. EVER.

  16. Angelica says

    Hi Monica! I just discovered your blog and I feel like we’re kindred spirits, right down to our Mexican heritage! I ran my first half-marathon five months after having my first child, but due to my love affair with dessert, I’m still trying to lose the last 10 pregnancy pounds, then hopefully 15 more after that. Anyway, about the peeling: Yup, I pee all the time now. During mile 9 of my half, it just happened. It was so much. I knew I had to pee, but I didn’t want to stop since it’s hard for me to get going again. Thank goodness I sweat sooo sooo much, and for being surrounded by strangers. Your friend is right; you ain’t cool ‘less you pee your pants!

  17. says

    Confessions: I assigned my students an independent in-class essay today so I could track the Giants vs Reds game 5 playoff game (we won, booyah).

    As for Instagram- yes! Just click on the name of someone who has followed you and either follow them or request to follow. Your feed must be so sad without following!

  18. says

    My confession? I’m still in this funky state after returning from Peru, but put on a happy face. Bad?! And I feel guilty about wasting carbs too. Boo to the paleo diet.

  19. Jessica J. says

    I LOVE #6!
    Confession: Every week I tell myself “it’s getting dark to early in the evening, next week I’m gonna try running BEFORE work”. And yet I just can’t seem to give up my addition to the Snooze button and my oh-so-super comfy bed. Please help.

  20. Jessica J. says

    Re: #8
    Click on the ID Card icon in the lower right hand corner (right of the bubble with the heart in it). Then click your name at the top in the blue bar. Then Click on the “XX Follwers” box. This will bring up a list of all the poeple following you and you can click on the “follow” box on each row to follow them back.
    Good luck. (Hopefully my instructions work for you too or I just look like a fool for trying to explain all that).

  21. Candice says

    My confession is I am a flight attendant and when we are taxiing I am hiding and on my iPhone looking at Facebook, Instagram and reading blogs. But only after we land when using your phone is allowed. Lol.

  22. Jessica says

    Amen to #9! I stopped reading blogs that featued Paleo-style eating because I was starting to feel guily about eating carbs too and I realized blogs like that aren’t healthy for me to read.

    Confession: I sometimes spend too much time doing superficial reading, like blogs and fashion magazines and celebrity gossip. Also, I eat way too much sugar-I have to eat a little something sweet every day. Sometimes I fast all day and then come home and eat a huge meal at night and am umcomfortablely full. Not the healthiest thing to do but I am working on it. I am a lazy cook, and sometimes also I eat almond and peanut butter straight out of the jar for a meal.

  23. Carol says

    Loved your comment on the UPS guy…when I had a job I used to spend lots of $$$ on stuff especially from Amazon…our UPS guy was so tall and handsome I may have ordered more to see him more…alas he was married! Love carbs but cut out the white ones for better health and lost tons of weight…there are good carbs out there. I also indulge in the dark chocolate! Great on your PR…love your sense of humor!

  24. Scallywag says

    First some responses:

    One of my friends is a die hard fitness freak with abs you could cut diamond on. We were talking about paleo a while ago now and a)he doesnt even do it and b) said “its completely mental unsustainable for like 99% of people”. So no carb hate!

    About your running crisis, youve been doing distance so long have you considered getting faster at short distances instead- shaking it up and gettting yo speedwork on?

    Confession: Just bought 50 quid (80 dollars) leggings online. LEGGINGS. Worse still, told the bf they were like 20… Oops.

  25. Whitney says

    People who don’t eat carbs are not endurance runners. Any kind of food restriction does not turn out well and only leads to binging, IMO. I used to have a co worker who would go on the “no carb” diet every few months to lose weight. He would lose ten lbs or so and as soon as he would start eating carbs again he gained it back every.single. time and complained. It annoyed me to no end! :)

    • Jackie S. says

      I wish I would “like” this comment (and all the others re: carbs). We need them! Stop hating, people! True paleolithic people lived on mostly roughage, not bacon!

      Sorry, end rant. I couldn’t even do the “Paleo” diet if I wanted to because it is NOT vegetarian friendly.

      • says

        Snaps to the non-vegetarian-ness of Paleo. it’s my #2 behind carbs as to why I will not submit myself to that torture….er i mean lifestyle.. 😉

  26. Suzanne says

    I too am having a running identity crisis. Trying to get pregnant but seem to be failing every month…and that lack of being able to plan and therefore train for a half marathon is making me nuts! Every two weeks I have to really take it easy, and I have a VERY hard time doing that!
    My running has gone way downhill, which is depressing because a year ago I was training for a marathon and really doing well. Now, when I go out to run 4, my knees are hurting a little, it’s difficult, and I feel sore the next day. WTF is that about??! I’ve been extremely busy too and haven’t been home before 9 all this week, so getting to the gym has been difficult. I’m so frustrated! Happily I get to do a run tonight and am planning one for Sunday.

    Random Confession: I am a freezer hoarder. It’s packed. I freeze every little leftover because I don’t want to waste it, then forget what I have.

  27. says

    I’ve read your blog a couple of times but never commented. I really liked this list because I myself am having a little bit of a runner’s identity crisis so I can understand where you’re coming from. Lately when I’m running I cant seem to do long distances as comfortable as before and my iPod just broke (and I’m broke) so I’ve been having to suck it up with no music. And I happen to like that your not all Paleo-y. Its a nice change from so many other healthy living blogs who are trying it. Be you!

  28. says

    I can totally sympathize with #9. Paleo just isn’t an option for me – I don’t care what all of them say, I don’t feel like I get enough carbs from non-grains before a long run and well… I just actually love carbs. I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets the non-Paleo guilt!

  29. says

    Girl, I know the feeling about all the paleo diet going around! Not that I have anything against them because I eat a paleo-esque like diet. But I definitely don’t like it when people think going paleo is the best thing for your body! Everyone is different and it’s not for everybody.

  30. Amanda Marco says

    I’m a marathon runner like you!! and I tried the whole paleo crap. Yeah it messed up my running! I NEED CARBS! Don’t give them up!!

  31. says

    Yes all these damn Paleos need to quiet down. I appreciate very much but when I’m sitting there reading these blogs and eating a PB and banana sandwich, it makes it a little bit harder to enjoy! Lurve me some carbohydrates!

  32. Carrie says

    <3 blog love girl. Thank you for keeping it real.

    I wish I could be more open minded and positive, but the paleo stuff is driving my crazy lately. There is more to life than paleo and crossfit. Carbs are my friend… I must by loyal to my friend. :)

  33. says

    Confession: I am totally a tv nerd, I watch at least 12 shows a week and I love every single one. I love dramas, comedies and suspense. I think I got that tv obsession from my mom. Which is why I keep saying that I need to get a treadmill so that I am not sitting on the couch while I watch all these shows! lol
    I love reading blogs but adding new ones gets difficult you definitely have to pick and choose, it’s hard to keep up with everyone!

  34. says

    I feel you on the Instagram and Paleo. I’d love to kick the carbs more but my body just craves more when I’m running…obviously a sign it needs them. Go crazy and sign up for a bunch of races. Awesome about your PR, I’d still be excited too. Have a fab weekend.

  35. says

    Hahaha, I bet your delivery man loves you and I *heart* carbs too, no paleo for me! P.S. Instagram is sorta like twitter, click on a person’s name and then you’ll get to their profile… From there you can follow them and look at all of their past pictures :)

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