Love ‘em OR Leave ‘em?

I am a Brooks Run Happy Ambassador and recently the company contacted me with a fun offer – In the spirit of Valentine’s Day I could outfit someone and take them out on a “Run Happy” date.

Being a running shoe nerd, I was super excited to pick out a pair of Brooks running shoes for Ben. I took into consideration – his size, potential mileage and crazy high ballerina arches. I ended up choosing the Brooks Adrenaline for him.

brooks adrenaline

You can figure out what shoe is best for you with their Sole Mate Finder here.


He also got an awesome pair of shorts, shirt and jacket. I’m probably going to steal his Men’s Essential Run Jacket. Dig it.

He insisted on doing some runner poses to get comfy in his new Brooks gear. He thinks this is a ‘runnery pose’.runner pose

I am pretty sure he’s making fun of me here like Dan did on Sunday:runner pose up

I have no idea where he got that from…that's not a good pose

Exhibit B:IMG_0200 (800x600)

and one with the hand on the hip was necessary to really bring it home:

hand on the hip

It’s funny because it’s true…long beach marathon tech shirt

Ben hasn’t been running because he sprained his ankle killer bad a few months ago. So we just ended up taking a walk.

But, he did run the Big Sur 10 miler with me last year. 20120429_063315 (600x800)We ran the first few miles together and then he told me to go away. Not really, but we agreed beforehand I would do my own thing and circle back if I could. 20120429_074918 (800x600)

That’s what he wanted, I would have 100% stayed with him if that was his preference. But it made me think…

ryan gosling marathon

When you run a race with your friends or significant other –

Do you Love ‘em or Leave ‘em?

If you don’t run – what would you do? Would you want your partner to stay with you?

I think it’s important to discuss this BEFORE the race and agree. It’s hard to tell when your running buddy is breaking down if you should stay with them or go. If you decided to stay together before the race or you’re pacing them, I think you should stay.


  1. says

    Love the poses! My husband and I usually discuss beforehand what our race strategy will be. We’ve ran one together and in another, I left him in the dust. Although now, he could probably beat me! It is important to discuss though, as you don’t want feelings to be hurt if one person has an expectation that the other doesn’t know about!

  2. says

    Love Ben’s running poses! I always tell my husband to run ahead of me. He’s a lot faster than I am and I don’t want to hold him back. He has stuck with me for two races though which actually made me feel bad. He’s fast so he should go go go!

  3. says

    The only 5K I got my guy to run, I loved him because he was afraid of running alone. After his solid performance of stalking me on a bike and running with me in necessary times during my recent marathon, I think I will love him anytime he decides to run again. He would totally want me to leave him, though since he now knows he can do 5K like a champ.

  4. Bethany says

    I have a friend who is a much better runner than me, and when we race together she always stays right by my side. I really appreciate it, but I feel bad knowing she could be placing instead of coming in last!!

  5. says

    When I race with my friends we always try to start together, but we usually go our own pace after the first mile. When I did my 20K this summer I was in the 9 mile start time and my friend who runs a 7 or 8 minute mile, stayed with in the beginning of the race, which was super cool!

    • says

      I retired 6 months ago w the goal to improve my running times. My running partners (two guys – one 67 and one 57. I’m 70!) I have been outpacing them the past few training sessions and this a.m. they advised me that they were bothered that I do my own thing instead of socializing/chatting with them. I am very competitive and training for upcoming races. What particularly bothers me is that in the past I usually ran slower than them and that was just fine. I don’t want to lose their “friendship” and support but really don’t want to run/walk either. Their idea of socializing is to talk sports that I don’t have an idea or interest in.
      What do you think?

  6. says

    I hate feeling like I’m dragging someone down, so if my running partner is faster, I urge them to go ahead. My boyfriend is faster than me, so if we want to run together and stay together we usually hit side by side treadmills at the gym and chat away while each going our own pace :)

  7. says

    If I am lucky my husband will stay with me for the first 1/2 mile then he leaves me in the dust. I am totally fine with it, because otherwise he just talks me through… pick up your feet, land different, breath on this stride, etc. It drives me nuts because I am 5’2″ and he is 6’2″ so our running will always be a little bit different. Plus he has been running for 10 years while I am still a newbie.

  8. Samantha says

    Love this! I just got my hubby to sign up for a 5k with me in 2 weeks. This will be his first and my umpteenth 5k. I asked what the plan was and he stated without hesitation,” oh I am leaving you in my dust!” Nice. We shall see honey! BTW……you make my day. I hope one day to run a race that you are running so I can see you and officially reach stalker status. Lol

  9. says

    My husband just registered for his first race with me today, so it will be interesting to see what happens with training and stuff. I told him I would run his pace during the race if he wants, but we haven’t decided yet!

  10. says

    “I think it’s important to discuss this BEFORE the race and agree”

    ^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^^^^

    I have run two races with the hubs (of the three he has ever run) and I told him I was going to stay with no matter what – and so I did!! He acted like he didn’t care at the time, but I think he realized at the end why I was so insistent on it. It was so awesome to hold hands at the finish line <3

  11. says

    Depends on the run. For regular races, we usually part ways. However, my boyfriend and I are signed up for a mud run in the fall and he is adamant about completing it as a team.

  12. Bryanna says

    I did a 50k with my older sister. She didn’t train at all for it. Her longest run was 3 miles before it, but being that she is fit, she thought she could finish. We were just doing it for fun anyways. This is when I learned my competitive spirit. It was killing me to not just kick it into gear. I stayed with her, until mile 16 when she said just leave me. I asked if she was sure, and she said yes. I took off. She never lets me live it down. The next year she finished the whole thing and I ran with her, until the last 3 miles. My time was super slow, but it was family run. It’s hard to love em in this case. I never knew how competitive I was. Now no one wants to run with me…they think I won’t wait for them, but I will until they say go, and I am not going to think twice. I think for me I just have to tell myself it’s for fun and your doing it with them, making it all about them makes it easier for me. Definitely something to talk about before doing one. With my fiance, he is training for a half, and I am doing it with him. I said Iwould run it with him for fun since it’s right after Boston, hopefully I stay true to my word.

  13. says

    Definitely discuss before the run -some runs = pacing a friend; some runs = being a pacee; some runs = have fun, walk and take loads of pics.

  14. Cori @olivetorun says

    I’ve ran numerous races with my husband and we go into it for ourselves. We will do some training runs together, which are some of our favorite runs but when it’s race day it’s each person for themselves.

    No matter what distance we are always within a few mins of each other at the finishline but its always him slightly ahead of me. EXCEPT this one race when I crossed the half marathon finish line a few minutes before him. I love him to death but it sure felt good to beat my hubby for once.

  15. Shannon in Tustin says

    Wellll, definitely discuss before-hand. I’m thinking it depends on race situation (are we out for fun or a PR). I’ve run two races with my sister and we usually start together then I run ahead. I’m just a wee bit faster than her. We’re running LB half 2013 and Surf City half 2014, so we’ll see.

    I have a friend who’s faster than me, when we race, we just discuss prior but she usually runs ahead and waits to cheer me on or circles back.

    it’s more fun to head race with a friend even if you’re not at the same pace. You have someone to enjoy the after-party/expo stuff with. Otherwise, it’s climb into the car and head home (very anticlimactic).

    Is it Friday?

  16. says

    I think you said it all – have a plan beforehand with who you’re running with on whether you’ll stay together or not!
    I haven’t ran a race with anyone I know yet, but if I did, I’d most definitely let THEM know it’s very, very okay for them to leave me if they wanted to – I’d rather it be the most comfortable type of race for everyone!

  17. says

    Leave! I am all about running and finishing together if that’s the plan, but I didn’t know how well I could do until we decided that I could go on if he wasn’t doing well. It renewed my passion for making and meeting goals!

  18. says

    Your Brooks date was super cute. I wish I could get my SO to run anything, not gonna happen. I have run lots of races with friends and always stay until either I lost them in a sea of people, I told them to go, or they told me to go. Doesn’t bother me, I will find them later.

  19. says

    Aw, that was nice of Brooks. I’ve only run the same race as my fiance once, a turkey trot 5K, and I was gearing to PR at that race, so I kinda ditched him. If he wanted to run another and I didn’t have my heart set on getting a PR, I would definitely run with him, but he’s not doing a lot of running anymore. I hope Ben loves his new Brooks shoes as much as I love mine!

  20. says

    It has always been discussed beforehand, when I run with others. Once, I was told by someone we would be staying together for a half and I was ditched 2 miles in. It felt awful and I swore I would never do that to someone. If I say we run together, we run together.

    The Kidless Kronicles

  21. Tara says

    I did 2 races with my husband, and the first one, his first race, we stayed together for most of it. He is fast than me (he is TALL) so a few times he would get away from me and I would catch up.
    the second race we stayed together the entire race which was nice.
    We both signed up for a half and although I would love to cross the finish line with him, I want him to go at his pace, me at mine.
    I just want to make a plan that who ever finishes first, circles back for the other so we can get a picture crossing the finish together : )

  22. says

    I’ve only run one race with someone – my friends are faster than I am so even if we show up at the same race, I always tell them I’ll see them at the end (if they feel like waiting for me LOL).

    The one race I ran with someone, before the start we both agreed we’d do our own thing, but we ended up staying side by side and pushing each other – it wasn’t till the last 100 feet or so that my friend (who was in significant pain and fading) said “Go!” and I sprinted for the finish line…. In hindsight, I really wish I hadn’t. It was her first race of that distance, and it would have been more memorable for me to be holding her hand when she crossed the finish line. Apparently I’m kind of an ass. LOL

  23. Angelica says

    lol I love the Ben pictures. My bf and I signed up for a 5k last summer but I ended up volunteering instead because it was a health fair/fun run and I wanted to get a better idea of the logistics that went behind organizing it since healthcare is my field of interest.

  24. Ashlee says

    I have a friend who used to do 5Ks with me and we did one half marathon (but she hurt her foot real bad and hasn’t run in a long while) and we always started out together, then she’d speed away and wait for me at the end. But she always cheered me through the finish line!

  25. Whitney says

    ohh man I would absolutely run with Ryan Gosling the entire race 😉

    When the hubs and I have done races together we are trying to beat each other! haha

  26. says

    Last weekend my boyfriend and I ran our first race separately because I was being nasty and whiney in the beginning and he lost his patience pretty quickly. Can’t really blame him for that! At first I was upset because I expected to run the race with him and was mad that I had no iPod or anything to distract me from the 20 miles ahead. But, I started taking pictures and listening to my own thoughts and it ended up fine! I’ve run all 9 of my marathons with him so this was very out of my comfort zone, but I’m happy we did this race apart because it showed me that I can do just fine with me and only me :)

  27. says

    My husband and I quit trying to run together early on in our relationship. He doesn’t really like to run but he will jog some to stay in shape.
    I did run a 5K with our oldest son a few years ago and I stayed with him the whole way – one of the best experiences ever (and he won for the under 13 group as a 10-year old!!).

  28. says

    My sister runs with me on occasion and I leave her behind. She’s okay with it, or at least okay enough with it that she doesn’t say anything. I did have a friend meet me at a 10k and even though she finished first she came back and paced me for the last 2/10s of a mile yelling, “shut up and run!” I’m glad we didn’t do the whole thing together.

  29. says

    I’ve heard enough people mentioning the Brooks running shoes that now I think I need to just go check them out.

    As far as running with a partner, I am just a beginner runner. At this point, I prefer to have someone run with me so I can carry on a conversation and take my mind off the actual running.

    However, I can see once I get better at it, just wanting to run by myself and set my own pace rather than worrying about pacing myself with someone else.

  30. Heidi says

    This is an ongoing battle between my husband and I. We do all of our training runs together at a nice, comfortable pace. Then on race day he is speedyMcspeed and is yelling at me to go faster. So he always ends up leaving me :( He PROMISED (pinky swore and all) that he will stay with me for our first full this May. I believe him about as far as I can throw him.

  31. says

    I think it just depends on the situation. If we have an agreement to stay together the whole race, then that’s what I am expecting. If we agree to do our own thing, then that’s fine too! I am hoping to get my BF to pace me during a race later this year so he better run with me the whole time. I am also hoping to get my dad to run a 5k this year and I would run with him the whole time if he wanted me to.

  32. says

    If it’s a race that isn’t too important to me than I will stay and just run leisurely. If I’m serious about the race and want to PR, I tell them beforehand that I willl go at my own pace and they should do the same thing.

  33. says

    I sign up for a number of races with friends, but I always make the disclaimer early on that once I cross the start line I’m going to do my own thing because I like to listen to what my body and mind are telling me. I do try to circle back after finishing if my friends are behind me, and I appreciate when my much speedier friends do the same!

  34. says

    My husband and I made a commitment to engage in each other’s hobby this year. He is going to run at LEAST 3 miles a week with me and I am going to participate in his Fantasy Football team. Not exactly a fair trade, but I’ll take it for a running date:)

  35. Krystina says

    My fiance and I run races together all the time. I’ve actually only run 2 without him (one half and one 5K). We usually discuss whether or not we’re going to be running competitively or not before the race. When we are being competitive, we run together during the first part and usually he ends up beating me by a couple seconds/minutes, depending on the distance. I actually ran into you after the RnR Arizona half, and this was not a very good race for him. He cramped up really bad and actually ended up walking for a few seconds around mile 11. He told me to go ahead, but later on, I think it really bothered him that I beat him. Men. Haha!

  36. says

    My bf isn’t much of a runner but he did run a half-marathon with me at Disney last year. We discussed before hand that we’d run the first little bit together and if either one of us needed to take off or slow down, we’d let it happen and meet after the race. We stayed together for 3 miles until he needed to deal with a foot issue so I went ahead…he actually ended up passing me later on as I was stuck in a mile long bathroom lineup!

  37. says

    If I could get my husband into running I would run whatever pace with him. He hates running though so we have only done two races together. One was before I started running and we ran/walked it together. The second was last year and we did our own thing. I think it would be great to both be in shape and do a run together. One day… maybe

  38. Jessie says

    I run in the Brooks Adrenaline too! I have the 12’s. I have been running for the past year. I will need some new shoes soon and wondering if I should stay with Adrenaline or try a different style. Love my Brooks! I wish I could get my husband to run and I keep trying. Maybe one day… But I would definitely stay with him if he wanted me too or vice versa.

  39. says

    Hhhhmm… I can’t think of anyone who could have inspired those poses! :)

    My friends and I start off together then run our own pace. We decide this before going into the race. We all try to stick together, but eventually do our own thing. I think you still benefit from the group/running with friends mentality because you start off together and party at the end together!

  40. says

    The poses are too funny! I do them too! I have never really had the talk with my friends but it is pretty obvious that we are at different abilities and we just sort of find a place to meet at the end to talk about the run and celebrate the finish. I wish I had someone at my pace to keep me moving when I want to slow down, but so far, no luck on that. I don’t want to hold anyone back.

  41. says

    My husband and I race together. Sometimes, we stick together the whole time and others we run our own race. A lot of it depends on our goals and how we are feeling. And be we, I mean me. He is the faster one in the pair and, if I’m not feeling it, I urge him on. I really love to run with him, though, and it’s a great way for us to connect.

  42. Gillian says

    Absolutely MUST discuss ahead of time to avoid hurt feelings!!! I’ve been on both sides where I ran a half with a slower friend and she said it was ok for us to meet at the finish. Also ran a full with another friend and at 18miles when I started hitting the wall I told her ok its time for you to go ahead and I’ll see you at the finish. Maybe it’s easier with friends than with husbands/wives. My husband hates running so he rides his bike while I run. It’s great for long runs, I call him my support team!

  43. says

    Agree with the talking beforehand. My hubbs first two half marathons, I stuck with him and he appreciated it and I had a blast just pacing him. We entered a couples triathlon last year and we were just both frustrated trying to stay together (I’d get ahead, and have to wait, then he’d get ahead and have to wait, it was like it brought out the worst performance in both of us having to stick together). Usually though, we race our own races and pick a place to meet up.

  44. says

    You are a RIOT with your poses! The fact that Ben does them too to be fun is great!

    I ran into this before. My first race ever I had done with my boyfriend 2 years ago. I didn’t know what to expect and neither did he. We knew I would be faster because I run and he…… pretty much never runs unless he’s running away from something lol

    Needless to say, the gun went off and I took off like a bat out of hell. I got to see him when the course went around a turn but, I didn’t see him again until he finished the race 7 mins later. When I saw him coming in for the finish I started running along side of him and yelling I was so happy to see him come in! He had a big smile on his face… Later tho, after the food and medals, he told me he had no idea I was gonna go out that fast.

    Good Note to make a game plan with the loved one or buddy so everyone knows what to expect!

    He was lonely at first but, found another gentleman to shoot the breeze with. 😛

  45. Cassie says

    My boyfriend is a MUCH better/faster runner than I am, but he did every long training run with me for my first half-marathon, and when the day came he ran the WHOLE thing with me and paced me the entire way (in Vibram barefoot shoes, the speed demon!)
    Now when we do training runs together we typically start off together and he will run ahead and loop back when possible, but his sticking with me for the whole thing the first time around really gave me the confidence that I can do long distances with or without him!

  46. says

    We normally split up because my boyfriend is faster than me. A few times we toughed out races together but we normally need to discuss that beforehand so we know what to expect. I hope to get to a point where I am one leaving the boyfriend in the dust 😉 (is that mean? lol)

  47. says

    Love em or leave em?? Such a tough question. I have always been the better runner, until recently when my husband found some sort of intrinsic motivation to take his running to the next level… So… I find I am the one being left recently. I think overall it depends on if we are going for a PR or certain time. We always discuss before the run/race!

  48. says

    When it comes to running with people, I’d much rather be a loner. Whenever my sister or mom asks if I want to go for a run, I hesitate because I’d rather only have to worry about my own pace than keeping up with or slowing down for someone. I haven’t ran an organized race in a long time, but I don’t think I could/would commit to staying someone (no matter how much I loved them). So I say Leave ’em!

  49. says

    Hahaha I’m usually the slow one so I don’t really get to decide. I always feel bad that other people have to slow down to run with me, especially during races, so I never insist on running together. The exception is when it’s dark outside. I feel no pity making another person run with me at night. I’ve seen enough episodes of Criminal Minds that I will NOT go running by myself at night…

  50. says

    I recently ran a 5K with my college age son and athlete. (Obviously, we know how this race was going to end.) I suggested he run ahead and we would meet at the finish line to enjoy the free beer that was part of the race swag at the after party. But, my son insisted that he run with me the entire 3.1 miles. Here’s the kicker…it will be forever recorded that I came in first in the 50+ group, and he came in last for the 20-24 age group! We still laugh at these results!

  51. says

    OMG! he is hilarious! I totally agree with discussing it beforehand. I never make someone stay with me and am totally fine being ditched. Even if it sometimes feels sad in the moment :(

  52. says

    Pretty cool that Brooks let you outfit your date like this. Very cool. My husband used to be a lot faster than me but in recent years he’s stopped “competing” during running races and runs a very mild pace. I wear my headphones anyway so we don’t really talk while we run but it is nice to have a running buddy- as long as you aren’t trying to PR!

  53. says

    I typically NEVER run with anyone; I’m sure that they wouldn’t want to endure my super slow pace. However, my very first half marathon (when I was just a walker), my friend Julia and I agreed to stay together until the 8 mile marker then if one of us felt like going ahead and faster, it was okay to do so.
    Most recently, after doing a half marathon in the morning, I did a 5K with my friend Sherri later in the evening. I told her not to feel obligated to stay with me because I wasn’t sure “how I would do” after the half. But she stayed with me the entire time. It was probably a good thing because I felt pressure (put on myself) to not walk and other than the one water station we ran the entire race.

  54. says

    Usually my husband will race ahead of me, but lately he’s had injuries so we’ve run together. Even though we agreed to split if he needed a walk break, he’d end up sprinting and catch up to me. He did it THREE times at the Surf City Half! Crazy!

  55. says

    My s.o. always leaves me in the dust at races. We haven’t run a race “together” – mostly because he is a lot faster than me. But he will grace me with his presence on some of the weekly runs. I think I beat him *once* in the 100m sprint…

  56. says

    As much as I SAY I want a guy I can run with, the past couple dudes in my life couldn’t keep up and it was super frustrating for either myself or them. So Ive decided I either want a guy who leaves me in the dust or Im not even going to try to run with them. So I guess I fall into the solo runners category!

  57. Denise P. says

    My boyfriend hasn’t run any races (he sticks to the treadmill and elliptical – which has helped him loose over 60lbs in the past year!) but I’m thinking we’ll do a 5k together this year. I would stay with him, I’m not competitive at all. And really who am I kidding all guys are basically faster than me.

    He is coming to cheer me on at Dallas RnR next month so that is really exciting.

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