This is my weight journey story. If we’re just meeting you should see my About page too.
Growing up I was always on the chubby side. A red-headed firecracker, but a little chubby…
I wasn’t “fat”, but I was bigger than my friends.
Let’s keep in mind I am Mexican and grew up in a Mexican neighborhood. This means all my best friends were short, petite and looked very different from me.
This is me and my BFF when we were in third grade. She is a year older than me and I am 40 pounds heavier than her. I was well aware of our size difference. I remember one of the boys calling me FAT in third grade. I knew it was true and it hurt so bad. I kind of decided that day that I was fat and ate accordingly. I thought I was fat, so I made myself fat.
Ballet Folklorico and cheerleading kept me from being too overweight, but I was still a little heavier than I should have been.
And being a cheerleader kept me very aware of my body compared to my friends’. Then, it got worse when I began to use food to make me feel better. I would eat when I was lonely, sad or tired. I gained weight and was very unhappy.
At my heaviest I was probably over 170
After high school I began to diet. I tried everything – Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, Jenny Craig, Cabbage Soup…
I lost weight and got to around 150- BUT I became obsessive and wanted to lose more weight. Thus began a binge/restrict cycle that developed into disordered eating patterns. Since I was still eating during my binges, but exercising to cancel them out, I always stayed around 150-155. This resulted in my brain and my body getting very messed up. I gained back any weight I lost from dieting and now have emotional baggage from it too. I am currently trying to lose weight and get to my happy place, but I don’t know when I am hungry or full or just emotional. Now I am working on becoming an Intuitive Eater, but everyday is a struggle.
I am currently around 160 (at 5″6) and looking to lose 15 pounds for a “happy weight” of 145. I run four or five days a week and eat a fairly healthy diet. But now I must learn how to eat intuitively and express my emotions with words or running – NOT food. Thanks for following along in my little journey 🙂
This is me on my wedding day in June. I refused to go on a diet before the big day because I am truly committed to Intuitive Eating and I knew a wedding dress crash diet would mean an equal and opposite binge.
Today I am all about running, eating healthy food and learning to listen to my body. Stay tuned!
Thanks for visiting Run Eat Repeat!
For more – check out my About page
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