As I was eating my lunch today I thought of one of my top dating tips:
Dating Tip #1: Don’t Order Salad on a Date
Not because a man wants a girl who can eat – I hate that even being said. No, don’t order a salad because you cannot shovel forkfuls of lettuce into your mouth gracefully… 
Dating Tip #2: Don’t eat garlic or onions
*Even if that garlic is from your favorite state.
Luckily, I was not on a date for lunch and enjoyed garlic bread with my massive salad.
Dating Tip #3: Don’t drink too much
*Unless it’s going really bad and you don’t care about making a fool of yourself with this guy you hope to never see again.
Dating Tip #4: Don’t dress like you’re asking for it
*Unless you are in fact, asking for it. But in that case, at least wear a shirt, c’mon! 
Dating Tip #5: Don’t profess your love for “nut butter”
*As your date may not realize you are talking about PB and almond butter. Awkward…
**Disclaimer: I am no dating expert – so if these tips get you in a bad relationship or knocked up I am not responsible. Sorry. I have more, but that’s enough for one day 
{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }
hahaha awesome post.
LOL hilarious picture of you eating the salad!
I like number 5. I think anyone who could understand a deep love for nut butter would be “the one”
Haha! Too funny!
i always order garlic and onion!
Haha, thanks for the tips! I’ll try to remember them:)
i almost choked on my lunch reading these. too funny
Excellent tips.
Sometimes the term “nut butter” makes me giggle. Yes, I’m 12.
I loved your “nut butter” tip. I actually said something last night to my bf about how I LOVE nut butter and he started laughing histerically. He said, “you love nut butter huh?” I was like oh yeah, LOVE It. And then we both realized that we were not in fact both talking about almond butter. It was embarrassing – but luckily it wasn’t a first date so it was just funny.
Every time I say nut butter I feel the need to clarify what I mean
Ha ha – I love your disclaimer!
Ack! I first met my husband at a football tailgate where I was drinking a water bottle filled with tequila (I don’t remember this, but he brings it up at least once a year). And I’m pretty sure I ordered a grilled shrimp spinach salad on our first date! I guess it’s all up hill from there, right?? Riiiiight.
This sounds like something I would do. Love it!
hahaha, this is adorable. although if a man doesn’t understand a love of “nut butter” perhaps he is not the man for me
.
Wow, thank GOODNESS I have a serious boyfriend already- because I am pretty sure I have/would commit(ed) all of these crimes!
And about the dressing like I was asking for it…only for halloween during those early college years…we can just forget about those, right!?
we are all guilty of those Halloween costumes! I had no shame…
Dating tip #5 is one to live by!
lol I think you might wanna share #5…some guys might like that.
haha nice tips
Your blog makes me laugh everyday. No joke. I love it.
Thanks!
Lol @ the nut butter.
That is a great list. I would also not eat a salad because of possible “tummy grumbling” issues if you know what I mean!
LOL I believe that is kinda what everyone thought when I told them I was making “nut cheese”(vegan cashew cheddar cheese)! At least we are not professing out love of” Think Burgers” or what ever those things are called haha.
LOL, I loved this post. =)
Haha, great advice. It also takes forever to eat a salad so he will be waiting on you all day!
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I can’t find the rss feed?
How do i subscribe to rss here?
I’ll show this to my friend =)
I’ll show this to my friend =)