From the beginning

Breakfast -was the usual bowl of banana oats topped with some organic O’s and AB. I also had a few handfuls of cereal while cooking, so that adds some cals to my breakfast.

 

Rest day Friday – Since today was a no run day I went to the gym with Ben this morning. The bad thing is he only likes to be at the gym for a short time, so I did 30 minutes on the stairmaster and had just gotten on the elliptical when he said it was time to go. I don’t like the gym anyway so I followed, but I’m taking a l-o-n-g walk after work to add something in later 🙂

RD appt – I haven’t told you guys this but the RD I am seeing is actually one of the writers of Intuitive Eating – Evelyn Tribole, M.S., R.D. You have no idea how excited I was when I realized her office was in Orange County near Ben’s and she was taking new patients. It was better than Christmas!!! Seriously.

I really want to get to a place where I eat what I want in healthy amounts and find my happy weight and I want to get there through intuitive eating. But, years of dieting have really messed up the way I see food and my hunger cues. I honestly have no idea of when I’m hungry and how much food I need to get satisfied.

I talked to my  mom about this recently and she said I never had issues with food as a child. It was all brought on by being an overweight child/teen and desperately wanting to lose weight after high school.

Right after graduation I lost weight by walking for exercise and doing Slimfast for a while. But, that diet got old so I tried another and then another… I did lose weight and felt better, but I wanted to lose more. I was convinced I was fat and became obsessed with diets, food and my weight.

I did – Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Cabbage Soup, Atkins, South Beach and others.I lost weight on every diet, but obviously I’m writing this today because it didn’t stay off.

I was between 145 and 150 through college and hated my body. Now that I look back at pictures I think I looked good, not skinny, but this Mexican booty isn’t going anywhere 🙂 I have come to accept my shape. I’m only 5″6, but I look good and curvy at 145. I’m not built like a gazelle, I’m built to have a baby on my hip (that’s a joke, kinda).

So, I have finally accepted that my weight set point is about 145 and I’m happy with that, but today I weigh 158 so getting back there is the problem. I’m struggling with how to listen to my body and eating when I’m hungry to lose weight.

The RD has given me some tasks for the next 2 weeks –

1. Use the blog as an Intuitive Eating journal. Document my struggles with it.

2. Make sure I am eating enough for breakfast, lunch and a snack so I don’t overeat when I get home.

3. Do something enjoyable (*besides eating!) when I get home each day. This will hopefully prevent me from finding enjoyment solely in food.

4. Be present with food, only eat when I’m eating (no standing, no TV, no reading, etc)

I told her I just want to eat when I’m hungry, but she said it’s not that easy since I have a long history with these issues. But, I am going to try an Eating Experiment and pay close attention to just eating when I’m hungry and eating what I want.

Wow, that was long and I made efforts to keep it short. More on this subject to come!

Happy Friday!!! My bridal shower is tomorrow!!!!!!