Confession Thursday: I want to be chubby

Jesus is probably busy with real problems so I’ll confess this stuff to you…natalie dee jesus(

1. I eat at least 5 calcium chews a day. But, with the way my Costco pack is dwindling, I suspect more…calcium chew

2. I don’t feel like I belong in the category “healthy living blog”. I feel like I ‘get’ weight loss or at least former weight loss blogs like Roni’s more than any other kinds. I don’t know what category I fit into, but I don’t feel like I belong with those peeps.

3.  If there are 2 clubs – a skinny one and a chubby one – I’d rather be in the chubby one. No matter what the scale says I’ll always be a chubby girl and I kinda like it like that.

I remember reading a quote by Kate Winslet (who grew up chubby) and said, “once a fat kid, always a fat kid”. I get it.image

4. I couldn’t sleep last night. I wanted to blame it on Vegas, but it was really that iced coffee I had at 5pm…cat

5. Other people see “Manager’s Specials” on fruit and think, “Oh, but it will go bad too fast.” I think, “Good! I have to eat it all today!”IMG_6779 (800x600)

6. I drove somewhere that was less than a mile from my home. I hate that. But, I’m super busy and needed to get a errand done quick!thumbs down

7. That ‘errand’ was getting my nails done. Busted.french manicure on feet

8. Even though I’m excited for Blogher (this weekend!!!) and HLS, I’m sad that I’ll be away from Ben 2 weekends in one month. Isn’t that sick? I don’t want to turn into Alexis from RHWOC, but yeah we are super big fans of each other. IMG_4799 (600x800)

***So, he’s joining me at Blogher after work! Love love.

9. I’ve reached that point in marathon training where I want to die dread my long runs.IMG_4790 (800x600)

During last week’s long run I thought, “Why am I doing this again?! I only meant to do 1 marathon and cross it off my list. This is my last one!”

10. A ton of awesome things are happening with the blog and my life and I am busy and overwhelmed and feel like I’m complaining, but I’m not! Promise. I’m thankful. I’m happy. Very happy, but also stressed.

Got anything to confess?


  1. says

    This is my life to a T—“10. A ton of awesome things are happening with the blog and my life and I am busy and overwhelmed and feel like I’m complaining, but I’m not! Promise. I’m thankful. I’m happy. Very happy, but also stressed.” I completely understand where you are coming from and I love this post.

  2. says

    Oh I totally get what you mean….I SO don’t feel like a healthy living blogger even though that’s what I wanted to be…and I’m starting to accept that only will I always feel like a chubby girl on the inside, I’ll probably always look like one on the outside too, and that doesn’t make me a failure of a human. It just makes me someone who really likes chocolate. And Mexican food.
    P.S. Hope to see you sometime at BlogHer! I’m totally overwhelmed by it all cuz my blogging is so sporadic and not that good…

  3. Pam says

    confession…”I’m a runaholic!!” :)

    BTW you have very nice toesies for a runner!! I’m too embarrased to get a pedi right now…one toenail is M.I.A. right now! :)

    and…girl, you look great! Your fit, strong and about to cross #2 marathon of yo list!! WOOP WOOP!! :)

  4. says

    Ditto on 3 and 8. We fat kids hav eto stick together! And there’s nothing wrong with loving being with your husband. I love my husband and there’s no one in the world I’d rather be with at any given time. It doesn’t make us co-dependent, just in love. Lucky us!

  5. says

    I know that feeling! It’s like, “Wait slow down, no, don’t! I love it! Wait! Slow down! Change! The change! I’m going to die! I’m still alive! Excellent.”

  6. says

    My confession: I feel like I’m not working out hard enough because my husband is training for a marathon. I’m still getting in my 5-6 days a week, but when the person you live with has completed 15 miles, showered and eaten breakfast before you’ve even thought about rolling out of bed, it just makes you feel lazy.

    The plus side: He looks damn good.

    • says

      My husband ALWAYS makes me feel like that. He’s all “13 miler…ain’t no thing” and at a crazy pace- I can’t run one mile at the pace he runs 26. So my confession is the same as yours! :)

      I will console myself in manager’s special fruit.

  7. says

    Totally agree with the once a fat kid, always a fat kid. Make your own blog category :) I think of you as a running blog! I always get to points in marathon training where long runs are just painful. Have fun at Blogher!

  8. says

    WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET BACK….forget about being sad about leaving Ben two weekends….miss ME!!! I just wrote today how I wouldn’t call myself ‘healthy living’ so this is just another sign we need to be bff’s! You are doing amazing in marathon training and on your next long run can I meet you for your last two miles so I can cheer you up! Your toes look SO good!

    • Kathryn says

      I love when my favorite bloggers comment on each other’s blogs! This comment is meant BOTH for Janae and Monica….I love how you guys both are SO real on your blogs and actually eat real food unlike some running blogs that I read where girls hardly eat and still think its a lot. You guys provide such a better picture of what active 20 somethings need and enjoy – even when you aren’t pounding out your usually 20 milers Janae! Love it!

  9. Ella says

    I think most people would put my beliefs in the conservative Christian camp, and I love that cartoon – although crude, it’s so true in so many ways!

  10. says

    Chubby kid ova heeya!!! I was just talking about this after reading Janae’s post! My blog is life vomit with a mix of weight loss and running failure sprinkled in! I hope I actually get good and lose weight some day!

    My confession- I feel like a loser right now. :-(

  11. says

    I’ll always be the chubby kid no matter what. And I’ve never felt like a healthy living blogger. I just don’t.

    Andy and I are big fans of each other too. Hence the constant hanging out…

    Wish I was going to blogher. See you soon though!

  12. says

    I know what you mean when you say once chubby, always chubby…but when i look at your pics i see a skinny, in shape girl/woman. I do not see chubby nor even thick. I struggle too b/c Im considered “thick” but Im thin and muscular.

    I found your blog within the last month and it has quickly become my favorite. You crack me up, I dig your humor its similar to mind so i can feel what your sayin most of the time. Also, Carla from Top Chef was my favorite too…the whole time from beginning to end! And Im also your height and weight trying to slim down about another 10lbs.

    You inspire me, thanks!


  13. says

    1- I dont think your ‘chubby’ in the slightest. You have a bigger build, but you run millions of miles. No chub there!

    2- I wish caffeine kept me awake. I can drink a pot of coffee and go right to sleep.

    3-.. uh.. ok confession of mine. A local coffee shop here has stevia on the bar, and i ‘take’ a handful each time i go in. Hey… that stuffs expensive!

  14. says

    LOVE being in the chubby kid club. I’m never the one who’s freakin’ about not having my sweater in the A/C.

    Confession: I spent a lot of money today at the outlet mall and didn’t buy my Dear Hubby a dern thing.

  15. Kat says

    Confession: serving #2 of icecream is calling my name and I don’t think I can resist it. I mean come one, there are freaking marshmellows in it!

    And you have really pretty feet for a runner. Mine have multiple bruises, cuts, scrapes, lumps, veins and my ankle is swollen. Despite the fact that all my running lately has been on a treadmill. I don’t get it.

  16. Dynamics says

    I have to confess that I hate bloggers who complain. But, Monica, you are not a complainer. You are the only blog I read that cheers me up and makes me laugh. You are such a real and honest person. You definitely are a “healthy” blog!!! How much healthier is watermelon! All eyes will be on those great toes!

  17. says

    Keep on Keeping on chicKa! whatever your doing you are wearing it well. I love your blog!

    I grew up in LA so I love the slight hint of Cholita that you add to the blog as well. I miss my SAMOHI days, do you know what school that is?

  18. says

    Confession: I signed up for my first half marathon, which will happen on October 23. I’m following Hal Higdon’s Novice training plan. I still can’t run 2 miles straight without stopping for an extensive walk break. :(

    But thanks to your blog, and this whole blogging community, I’m inspired to finish anyway!

  19. says

    I totally get the “once a fat kid thing”. Sure, I can pound out an 8 mile run anytime I want or throw on shorts and a tank and feel relatively comfortable. I will still always be that 14 year old that had to walk into the plus size section for her high school uniform. It never, ever goes away.

    And seriously.. how do you run that much and not have ugly feet? Man.. mine are veiny and callousy and just not cute at all.

  20. says

    My fiance and I live together and work together… it’s beyond torture when one of has to go away for a weekend. I feel for you! I also really want to attend one of these HLS one year. They sound so fun!

  21. says

    Oh man, that point in training where you dread the long runs is ROUGH. What is the date of your race? I find its best to just start counting down the weeks/days/whatever it takes to remain sane and NOT think about your long runs too much until the night before.

  22. Christin says

    Totally with ya on #8…I hate to miss my time with my husband…he is my BFF for life! He knows how crazy I really am, and he still loves me! He’s crazy too, but our crazies match…does that make sense? haha! Anyway, I miss him when I have to travel without him. It warms my heart to see your marriage is the same way and I am so happy for you! :)

    PS regarding 6 and 7: driving a mile for getting your toes done is completely legit…you wouldn’t want to walk and mess up your pretty nails while they are still at that soft-almost-dry stage! 😉

  23. says

    Have fun at the conferences…my sister Melody is representing allpointswhole at HLS but we couldnt make Blogher.

    ps you know you will run a marathon! (from one fat kid to another)

  24. says

    I LOVE the pedicure… I took a very similar pic.. with the same Sanuk flip flops too! but I have white :) don’t you just love those things! Great blog, Just finding it now… and it’s def. going to be a fav… you look great, keep it up!

  25. says

    Friday confession: I went out for lunch when I shouldn’t have and now I want to go get fro-yo after work. :/ I will also always be a chubby kid.

  26. says

    So glad good things are happening for you and RER! I feel the same way about mary training. I only meant to do one, but I keep thinking about doing more and currently training for my second. And I have no idea why.

  27. says

    This may be a really weird observation, but you have very pretty feet. :-)

    I would rather be the chubby one as well. Or just be like Kate Winslet. Yeah, I want to be like her.

  28. Katie P says

    Oh man I am loving this post. No matter how much I weigh I see the insecure overweight girl staring back at me in my reflection. I want to make peace with my inner chubby girl, I feel like I am always fighting to contain her, and it can me so tiring.
    I love reading your blog Monica, I find strength in knowing I am not alone in my struggles and that it’s worth it to persevere.

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