So, I totally blew it the entire weekend! I am super stressed and feel out of control of my life. I know I have a pattern of trying to get control of things through food. I feel like I have no control of what is going on, but I can control what I am eating. Often for people with disordered eating, this would mean restricting, but my disordered eating patterns are more of a binge/over-exercise cycle. Friday, Saturday and Sunday I overate to the point of feeling sick. It sucks sometimes when you just feel like you already ruined your day/weekend/whatever so you keep doing it.
Anyways, I did take pictures of most of what I ate, but there are so many it would take too long to post them. I did not track in my notebook what I ate – which is bad. The notebook really helps me see what I have eaten in terms of calories and timing. When I was seeing a dietitian she also had me write where I was and how I was feeling when I ate. I am so over dealing with these problems. I thought I was over this, but apparently this is how I deal with stress.
Moving Forward
I am going to learn from this episode and let it go. It’s over and I have done enough this weekend to be self destructive. Beating myself up after the fact will not help.
Things I need to do the reach my goals:
– Keep track of my intake in my journal
– Keep calorie count at about 1,600 a day
– Write how I feel if I want to eat when I’m not hungry
– Exercise 5 days a week
– Stop snacking while cooking
– Keep dessert for the weekends only
Good! I have a plan set for success. My plan is reasonable and not difficult. My biggest challenge is committing to this everyday. I am determined to hit my goals.
Goals:
– Get to goal weight = 149
– Run a marathon
– Don’t eat after dinner
– Listen to my body’s hunger
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