F it

Yesterday was a super shitty  bad day and I just feel like saying , F@#% it all! 

I just could not stop eating all day, which means I felt like crap all day. I wasn’t going to post my daily, but I am trying to hold myself accountable and also be “real” about my journey so I thought I should post it. If nothing else I am honest here. I write about my setbacks and challenges. Hiding that stuff will only hurt me as I am trying to learn from my mistakes. I am going to have bad days, I am going to have days where I eat crap that I shouldn’t and I will still post about them. I am not perfect and I’m not trying to be perfect. I am just a chubby girl who wants to lose some weight and run around. So, if you want a happy little perfect blog you’ve come to the wrong place.

Anyways, I started the day with my usual oats, but added pumpkin to them. I actually found that the pumpkin made them less sweet. I guess since I added an extra ingredient that is not sweet it needed more sugar or something. After I was done I kept picking at the PB straight from the jar and it was all downhill from there…I had some grapes mid morning because I love them.Then, I felt the need to snack on Kashi Trail Mix because it was there and I am stressed. Hmmm, in hindsight that doesn’t really seem like a good reason to eat multiple servings of something. Lunch was an eggwhite omlete stuff with Calabacitas and topped with cheese. I also had a veggie sausage and an alternative bagel with SB on one half and pumpkin butter on the other. I made Calabacitas last night to go with dinner and ended up taking a few bites and saving it. I made it too spicy and decided I had to mix it in with something else. Calabacitas means “little squash” in Spanish. I don’t have a recipe I follow exactly, but I can post how I make it if anyone is interested.  It is basically zucchini cooked in a tomato sauce.Right after that I had a VitaTop because I just couldn’t stop plus a bunch of chocolate chips. After this I was super full and felt gross. I made dinner for the Matt and mom and myself which was pasta with turkey and green beans and I also mixed in some calabacitas from earlier. Those little biscuits are 55 cals each, good deal huh? I ate 2 or 3 times what was pictured here and felt overly full again. I told you, it was ALL FREAKIN’ DAY!

After this I told myself that I was done for the night, but I got bored and thrown into my usual habits an hour later and had some PB Puffins and hot cocoa. That was so not necessary. I don’t get why I keep doing this when I know it is not working for me.

Rarrr! Rant ended.