I Might Always Think of Myself As Fat But…

Confession:  I’ll always think of myself as fat… but that’s okay…

[ From @RunEatRepeat on Instagram ]

It’s very on-trend right now to post unflattering pictures of yourself… So I’m just posting this so that someone can tell me I’m brave.

Ha!! (I’m joking)

The reality is I was a chubby kid, overweight teen and struggled with binge eating and diets all through college.

I avoided going out.

I was self conscious ALL THE TIME.

I hated my reflection in the mirror.

The scale always made me feel like shlt.

I don’t know if it’s because I was ‘big’ during my formative years or what, but …

I think I will always identify as fat.

I’m okay with that because I don’t think of it as a negative thing… it’s just another adjective to describe me.

As long as I’m happy and healthy- it’s not a big deal if I identify myself as big, small, dark, light, loud, quiet, funny, hairy, funny, interesting, fast, slow or whatever… it’s not hurting anyone.

(I should note – it’s not hurting me as long as I don’t use the word ‘fat’ or any word to make myself feel bad. It doesn’t matter if you tell yourself you’re fat or skinny or dumb or smart – as long as those words don’t hold power over you and control your self esteem or how you feel about your physical appearance.)

That said, no matter how much I weigh –

I try to stand up straight, suck it in and know my good side for pictures.

I don’t have photoshop but I use filters.

I have really big eyes and look like a cartoon character in real life.

I might look about 10 pounds heavier in person.

I’m just sharing this so that you won’t be surprised if we meet in person or ever compare yourself to me. I never want anyone to compare themselves to me and I really don’t want you to compare yourself to me and feel bad. I’m just a normal weirdo who spends a lot of time on social media and not a measuring stick to hold up against yourself.

And I don’t care what kind of pictures you post of yourself but in case you’re struggling I want to remind you that…

It’s totally cool if you want to stand up straight and suck it in or wear a lot of makeup or show your muffin top or your booty or your pimples …

Do whatever you feel comfortable with and don’t feel pressured to be anyone but yourself.

You don’t owe anything to anyone (except to be nice to your mom).

I just really hope you love and appreciate your body and abilities and use them to do good.

xoxo.

Monica

@RunEatRepeat on Instagram