Lacey had some questions for me after my Ongoing Weight Loss post. They were very thought provoking for me and I want to answer them in a post instead of just in the comments. (I hope she doesn’t mind.) Lacey, thanks for the response. I don’t have a problem answering personal questions because I feel like I’ve already spilled my guts to everyone!
Questions: What did you take away from the dietician + therapist? How did they better your relationship with food? And if you went back to therapy what would you be expecting/hope for?
What I took away from the dietician was I need to eat a reasonable number of calories so I don’t trigger myself to binge. When I first started going she had me keep track of everything I was eating. My calories were so low it was obviously leading me to binge. She had me incorporate higher calorie meals and snacks throughout the day. She put me on 1,600 calories a day since I wanted to lose weight. I was losing weight with that amount of calories, about a pound a week. She had me continue to keep track of everything I was eating in a little notebook. I think the blog does the job of the notebook now, but I am going to start using a notebook again so I can record anything else that is triggering me to eat i.e. stress, boredom, and loneliness.
What I took away from the therapist is that I am not obese, I am not disgusting and I need to stop hating my body. I had such a negative view of my body I did not want to leave my house to do anything social. I was so afraid people would say or think mean things about me because I was fat. I didn’t want to go to parties with my BF of the time because I thought everyone would question why he was with a fat girl. My therapist helped me to accept my body and realize that no one cares about my body as much as I did. No one is sitting around criticizing my thighs – except me. I was completely convinced that I looked that crap and didn’t deserve to have fun. She helped me with so many issues and helped me accept my body more.
Both the dietician and the therapist helped me with my body and eating issues, but I still have a lot of work to do. At this point I know what to do, but I don’t always do it. It is very hard to overcome such deep seeded issues and bad habits! I think I still need to work on using food as an outlet. This is something a therapist can help me with. It is something I need to focus on daily. Everyday there is an opportunity for me to use food as comfort or to find another way to deal with my issues. I am trying, but I may need some backup help via therapy to make sure I make significant changes that make me feel better. I am just thinking about it right now and will let you know if I go. As always, I am super honest about the good, the bad and the ugly aspects of my little life J
Lacey, thank you for following up with those questions – I think it made me take my rant a step further 🙂
Macduff – it feels very good to hear that. Just because I write it doesn’t mean it’s easy to admit!
These posts are awesome. You’re really brave for putting yourself out there – very inspiring. The thing that sticks out to me the most is that you are SO not alone. I think everyone feels this way, generally more often than not, we just don’t talk about it.
Thanks for the response! I’m so glad it was something thought-provoking that you wanted to think about anyway. I definitely don’t mind– I appreciate it 🙂