My walks home have been giving me a lot of time to think. I love it because I’ve been having a Quarter Life Crisis for a long time now. I’m done with college, I’m working, but I don’t know what’s going to make me completely fulfilled. I need a 5 year plan. I want to be proud of myself. My head is filled with goals and ideas, but I don’t feel like I have the time or means to do them all – it’s frustrating.
Some of the symptoms of a Quarter Life Crisis:
- feeling “not good enough” because one can’t find a job that is at one’s academic/intellectual level
- frustration with the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
- confusion of identity
- insecurity regarding the near future
- insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
- insecurity regarding present accomplishments
- re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
- lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
- disappointment with one’s job
- tendency to hold stronger opinions
- boredom with social interactions
- financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipated high cost of living, etc.)
- loneliness, depression and suicide
- desire to have children
- a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
- frustration with societal ills
There are books and a ton of information online about the Quarter-Life Crisis. I know many readers and bloggers are in their early, mid, late-twenties/early thirties (the quarter life crisis age group) and may feel the same way.
My name is Monica and I eat dirty grapes.
I needed something to go with my PB&J for lunch so I went to the store on my lunch to pick up some grapes. But, I couldn’t wash them at work so I ate them dirty.
Question: Did you have a quarter-life crisis? Are in the midst of one now? Or am I all alone in this big scary world?
My Answer: I am still recovering from my quarter life crisis, but I’ve made a lot of progress within the last 3 months 🙂 I’m working on a five year plan – and I think that’s the first step. If I figure out where I want to go it will be easier to figure out how to get there. I’m going to make a list of goals tonight and post them up – I’ll map out how to achieve them when I get back from Belize- that may take a while!
I think I’m finally over mine. I was all settled with a job that I loved, but then I found a guy that I loved even more. And because of his career I had to give up mine for a bit. (We move around a lot for his job, and it’s very hard for me to find jobs in a new city every two years.) But I have a new plan, new goals, that I’m excited to be working toward.
As long as people don’t bother us about having kids too much. We just don’t have the time and energy for kids right now, but no one seems to believe us.
I can definitely relate! I am 25 and fall into the trap of comparing myself to others BIG TIME. Additionally, I live in Florida and went to school with the dream of becoming a real estate developer, hahaha. I’ve had to totally reassess my career goals and just remind myself that I’m lucky to have a job somewhat related to what I wanted to do!
Sigh, at least I’m not alone…
I think a quarter life crisis of sorts is what has propelled me back to school to study dietetics…at 31! I have wanted to do this for so long, but knowing that I would have to start from scratch, taking all of those science classes I never had to take before, deterred me. I realized that I would still feel the same at 35, 40, 45, but would just be that much older. So why not now?!
I can completely relate!! I am starting to get out of my quarter life crisis but it’s tough! Turning 25 was not easy!!
I didn’t think I was, bbut after reading that list I guess I am 🙁
Oh dear.
ahhhh i don’t want to know the symptoms otherwise i will self-diagnose! but since i’m in my last undergrad year i will have one very soon!
oh and i totally eat dirty grapes when washing isn’t an option. glad to know that you do too 🙂
We should start a support group!
It is very helpful to hear that I’m not the only one.
Definitely been there and some days I still feel I am. I went to college for teaching and then felt called to another profession (ministry) so I went back to school. Now I have bigger loans than before even though I love my job. But some days it feels like others from my college class or seminary class are far ahead of me career wise as well as family wise.
Part of what has helped is knowing that I’m doing what I love and feel God has called me to do. Somedays its really not easy but I love it and that helps me get through.
BTW I eat dirty grapes too sometimes. I have a habit of picking a few off the stem while driving home or *gasp* even before check out.
I certainly went through it. Not a good time either. My mom was enterging her mid life one. I felt old and like there was nothing to live for, she on the otherhand divorced my dad and got all crazy?? I’m still in the midst of it as i’m searching for a new job. I was a victim of the ecomony jobloss.
You should check out my blog today. I posted about redheads 🙂 You’re in my Ginger blogroll 😉
I TOTALLY went through this in the worst possible way. Mine led to a goofy marriage, purchasing a silly sports car (with a $625 monthly payment), and general lack of care and concern for life itself. I was living as if I was 21, but this occurred between the ages of 25-28. Amid the madness, I was also starving to death, binging/purging. It really was probably the most difficult time of my life.
At 29, I entered treatment for my ED, and it seems like everything fell into place after that. I don’t think that treatment broke me out of my crisis, but I broke out of my crisis and entered treatment.
In my opinion, the mid-twenties are definitely the hardest part of life. You’re kind of stuck between being a kid and being an adult, and it’s really really confusing. I think that it’s a good idea to set a list of goals, but not to become discouraged when things don’t work out.
I created a master plan at the age of 24, and part of that master plan included getting married and having children. Yeah. Now, I’m 32–not married, and have no children…but I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my ENTIRE life.
Wow, I thought I was the only one. Not really, but it’s nice to know there’s a lot of literature out there on this.
I’m sort of in the same boat as you, newly married and working a full time job. Of course I’m slowly starting to despise my job since I’ve had the same one since before I graduated college but I digress.
Nothing wrong with some dirt in your food. Keeps your immune system guessing…
Oh yes!! I read the symptoms and I am spot on. I just turned 30, and I think I have been having the “crisis” for about 6 months now. I hate it. I am so frustrated. I have a loose 5 year plan but for right now I am just in life limbo I guess and it is just frustrating. I can go on, and on about it. I guess it just gets me down cause this was never me. When I was in my early to mid twenties I thought I had a solid 5-10 year plan and then it all changed once I got married and we had to mesh our “plans” together. I mean, not that I am complaining about that it is just an adjustment! Basically I need to stop stressing about where my life is and just ENJOY life now!
But I love that you took control of your own crisis!!
P.S. I eat dirty grapes sometimes too…
I’m in the middle of mine right now! I graduated, moved up to Manhattan for about two years and worked in PR, decided it didn’t make me “tick” and now I just moved to DC and am going back to school for nursing. A quarter-life crisis is scary!!
I went through a quarter-life crisis around 24-25 (I’m 29 now). My friends were all getting married, having kids, moving away, etc…and I felt like I was doing nothing. I felt like my accomplishments were nothing compared to theirs and was just unhappy with my life. I finally realized that that was their life, not mine. I focused on reaching my goals on my own terms and stopped comparing myself to others. It’s something I think everyone goes through. It sounds like you’re on the right track 🙂
I’ve been in a quarter-life crisis for a year and a half now… I’m slowly climbing out of it finally… well, hopefully – we’ll see if my 3 month plan goes as hoped! (yes, I have to go by months, not years. lol)