When I first went online to meet a ‘marriage material’ kinda guy I only had to two requirements – he had to be big and he had to be from a warm climate. (I don’t like feeling like I have to protect you in a dark alley & I hate being cold.)
Anyway. I got my wish and here I am in Florida listening to Flo Rida.
But, be careful what you wish for ladies because it’s all great on paper… Then, you get to visit Florida a few times a year and get eaten by alligator and God laughs. He’s funny like that.
It’s been super rainy here and parts of the sidewalk I run have flooded. There is one particularly swampy section that weirds me out because I’ve convinced myself there are alligators hanging out waiting for an unsuspecting runner (me) to pass and there’s breakfast.
When I voiced my concerns Ben’s brother Jon said, “If an alligator is chasing you run in a zig zag pattern. They’ll try to follow you and can’t change direction that fast.”
Noted.
It rained all last night and the path was super flooded. Obviously, I was worried the alligators were even closer to the path at this point (and now pissed because it’s been raining so much, but maybe that’s just me projecting my feelings on them).
So, I knew what I had to do…
I ran like a crazy in a zig-zag pattern for about a quarter mile just in case they were even thinking about enjoying some Mexican for breakfast.
And that’s why no one wants to run with me.
The end.
Wildlife sighting today – a Wood Stork!
Question: What are your TWO requirements for a significant other?
Choose wisely or you might be eaten by a wild animal…
My two requirements: Incredible sense of humor and trustworthy. My hubby is both of those and oh, so much more. I’m incredibly lucky.
The scariest thing I’ve come up against while running is a dog. He was chasing me, so I quickly spun around into a karate stance and screamed as loudly as possible. He stopped and slinked away. When I started running again, I realized I’d pulled a muscle in my neck — so even though I wasn’t bitten/attacked, I was still injured. Damn dog.
Ha ha your brother-in-law doesn’t sound all that concerned, but I guess it’s good advice either way 😀
my two requirements:
1. be handy with things like cars, fixing things around the house, etc, because i have no desire to take apart the bathroom fan to clean it and discover dead spiders inside (true story, poor guy).
2. have a beard and a nice butt.
😉
in all seriousness, number two would be a sense of humor!
I would have to say my two qualities would have to be a sense of humor and honesty. I can put up with a lot but not being able to laugh or be honest is not one of them.
Able to put up with my craziness, and love me unconditionally
This post has really put a smile on my face early in the work day!
I think my 2 requirements are, taller than me and a good sense of humor.
A non-smoker and one who won’t take himself too seriously.
Hah! I’m picturing you doing the crazy run like Phoebe and Rachel from an old episode of “Friends.” 🙂
I think an earlier post mentioned something like this, but my husband’s safety plan when we hike in grizzly territory is just to outrun me. So… maybe you should just take Ben with you?
I’m gonna go with… HAVE NO CLUE! 😀
I think I have it all figured out, and then nope, don’t. I wish I could say something sweet like funny and trustworthy, but then I get scared that I didn’t mention no sasquatch sightings or really bad teeth.
I agree, someone larger than me, I don’t want to have to protect you. Also I want someone who is a happy person, aka sees the cup half full.
You met your husband online??? Awesome!
2 requirements: trustworthy, empathetic
Did you really meet online? I met my hubs online and my requirements were:
1- no secrete family/kids (I was once engaged to a guy that had a gf and child the whole time!!!!)
2 – couldn’t call me from the driveway to tell me that he was there (yes, I once when on a date with a guy who called from the driveway because it was raining and he didn’t want to get wet. I almost didn’t go out with him and it was a contributing factor to him getting only 1 date)
After a disaster engagement and lots of bad dates, my husband jokes that he had it easy! (or maybe I was easy….either way, it worked out)
Calling from the driveway is a no go in my world too 🙂
Love this! So you and Ben met online? Would love a post about your experiences with online dating, as I am curious myself!
#1 – Must make me laugh
#2 – Must be able to know the difference between when I am angry or HANGRY and know how to deal with each one correctly.
I remember on Oprah a LONG time ago they were talking about what to do in different scary situations and one suggestion was that if someone was trying to shoot at you in an open space, run zig zag….it’s harder to hit a target that way.
The more you know, right?? 😉
Must have: up for anything and laughter!
Cliche, I guess–but someone who 1) Made me laugh, and 2)was as open minded as I was. My step-mom is a transgendered individual–so that was a DEALBREAKER as Liz Lemon would say. I just won’t surround myself with hateful people-done deal!
There was a third though…Mushroom pizza. The man HAD to eat mushroom pizza.
Met him, married him, and now trying to figure out planning the whole baby thing! Dude-man makes me laugh every-single-day, couldn’t be hateful/closed-minded if he tried…and he ordered mushroom pizza last night. Boom. 😀
I wasn’t sure what I wanted in a guy when I met him but then I realized it was perfect. We were alike in some ways but balanced each other out in other ways –> this was key for me! We learn from each other all the time. Main requirement set. Others include; dealing with my loud & obnoxious family (Italian) and making me laugh 🙂
1. Has to be an outgoing people-person (I am more of an introvert, so I want someone who complements me / brings me out)
2. Must like being active/ doing outdoorsy things! (I would say must be a *runner* but that might be pushing it in terms of being picky…)
Are you near Cape Coral? My parents live there. Woodstorks <3 hotdogs!
I'm short but I like tall guys and its a must that my would be intended be able to keep up with my active life!
So funny! at least running zig zag gets the extra distance in 😉
My two must haves: GSOH and not clingy/demanding.
i loved this post!
my two requirements were:
1. he had to be big
2. he had to be hispanic
and i got just what i wanted: a puerto rican silver back gorilla.
Hey, is that actually true? Or did Jon watch you from a house in the distance somewhere?! Haha! Love that you ran in a ZigZag pattern! Did your garmin record the route with the zigzags?!
Hmm I might be in FL this fall… I will remember that life-saving advice.
My two must-haves are 1) someone who doesn’t brag or take themselves too seriously and 2) someone who makes me laugb and is always my best friend first and foremost.
I am pretty lucky and married someone who has those requirements 🙂
Two requirements: Has to make me laugh and love to talk.. I got him! 🙂 Happily married, laughing and running our mouths to each other for 13 years next month!
My two requirements? Taller than me and able to fix anything. My wish came true and my husband meets both!
1. He has to know and trust Jesus.
2. He has to love me.
In that order, because #1 would probably be so much easier for him than #2.
Ha! I just came back from Florida and a guy gave me exactly the same advice. He also said that the even better advice is running with somebody else and making sure you’re faster… 🙂
I’m married – celebrating 9 years in October. BUT love and respect seems to cover it.
I was curious about the crocodile zig zag so I googled it. Looks like the zig zag approach is mostly unnecessary if you escape a surprise lunge from the croc. Luckily I’ve only had to worry about Snakes and dogs out here in the dessert like San Joaquin Valley.
http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/mythbusters-database/zigzag-crocodile-run.htm
Fast runner and cute. I know, how deep of me.
My two requirements were: someone who could putt up with my craziness and someone who is hard working. I got both and more 🙂
Don’t feel dumb it’s what floridians are always told to run zig zag. My hubby is from there and we just moved away last summer to Texas. I’m truly blessed to have found someone who is a chef(I don’t cook) and supports my running obsession!
Good sense of humor and strong sense of family. Found my cowboy in college and we haven’t looked back since. He fits right in with mi familia 🙂
I couldn’t even imagine having to worry about alligators on a run. At least I know now to run in a zig zag 🙂
Two requirements: patient (I tend to be a big crazy about things) and a good dad.
Side Note: My dad always always always reminds me how lucky I am to have my husband and what a good husband I have…kind of makes me feel like my dad is surprised that my hubby puts up with my craziness. Lol!
Two requirements: leads and active lifestyle and has a good sense of humour 🙂
Only TWO requirements? No thanks. He has to be tall, funny, nice but not annoyingly nice, not annoying in general, how is it that Im still single?
Funny and dependable! My husband has to put up with my weirdness on an hourly basis and has to endure the moments when I randomly break out in song. He’s got to be able to tolerate that and be funny enough to have a comeback. It’s wicked important!
Someone that makes me feel safe and secure and someone who makes me laugh. If you’re too stiff it won’t work because I’m goofy and playful and love to laugh. I would not have ran. You’re brave lol
My only two requirements when I was in high school for a boy: Had to be taller than me (I’m 5’nothin) and smaller boobs then me (this one wasn’t such a given. . . ).
Now – I’d say my requirements were good sense of humor and honest. And a cute butt.
my requirements- have a relationship with God {so we can build a meaningful relationship from there :)} and be willing to do any sorts of crazy hiking/camping adventures with me!
Alligators would scare me, too, though when I was in Orlando on vacation I was more alarmed by the constant honking and cat calls early in the a.m….I just don’t get much of that around here in suburban Milwaukee!
I definitely wanted a man who could make me laugh, and who had skinny legs. I’ve got kind of thick, muscular legs and for some reason don’t find thick, muscular legs in guys attractive at all (opposites attract, I guess!). My kids tease my husband and tell him he has “baby giraffe legs” so I think it’s safe to say he meets my skinny leg requirement. Oh, and he’s pretty good and making me laugh, too 🙂
My two requirements were had to be taller than me (I’m 5’8″), and had to have a sense of humor. I got that and a whole lot more! (All good things!) Funny story: I was once chased by an alligator when I was about 10. I was honestly looking on the ground to make sure I didn’t step on a snake. Then I look and see a gator hissing at me! I ran so fast and didn’t look back until I reached safety.
I also visit Florida at least once a year and I will now be constantly running in a zig zag in fear of the alligators I had never before thought about! My 2 biggies were good teeth, and someone who appreciated and reciprocated my actions!
Are you sure he didn’t just say that to see if you’d run in a zig zag pattern?! 😉
Heeeeyyy! Now I feel dumb 😉
Money and good looks.
🙂
You’re so funny! lol. Why would you run zig-zag is your didn’t even see one?
My two requirements would be to have a sense of humor and to be able to eat as much as me. I don’t need my significant other pecking like a bird. haha.
‘be able to eat as much as me. I don’t need my significant other pecking like a bird’ – Good one! Me too.
Lol! I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about alligators when I run 😀
Live away from my hometown so I could move away from it too….and be nice to me. I found both 20 some years ago….
HA!!! No Gators here in CT so I don’t have that problem. I do tend to run pretty zig zagged, especially when I get tired.. but on accident. Running straight lines is hard. Track work? Forget it. Maybe it is from running with my dog?
This is hilarious! I think that’s also how you escape a bear? You know in case you go running in Alaska or Montana or somewhere!
And yes, be so thankful you live on the west coast with little humidity, running in the south sucks in the summer!
Oddly enough, I saw a black bear on my bike ride this morning! It was crazy. I’d had never seen one in the wild before and this was in a semi-populated area…there it was, just walking along the road as I rode up. Obviously I turned and went the other way!
Ah! That is crazy!!
my 2 were and always are: has to play a musical instrument and has to have the BEST sense of humor. I found him and he inspires and makes me laugh almost daily 🙂
2 requirements: He must love Jesus and he must love dogs.
Thanks for the running advice – I passed it along to a running friend who will be moving to Florida soon.
two must haves: can cook better than me (check) and is willing to watch animated movies with me on Friday nights (check…last week was Emperor’s New Groove)
i’m getting married this saturday! my 2 requirements right now are that he shows up and isn’t too hungover. 🙂
Yah!!! Best wishes <3
LOL!
He has to love my many quirks and love to snuggle! I have a keeper!
I guess I would have to say, communicative and funny. I want someone who will try and talk it out rather than hiding in a corner/ man cave
Your zig zag pattern made me laugh. Sounds like a smart idea. Too bad I didn’t add warm climate to my online dating search. I wound up in Wisconsin for my online man turned husband. That is a big change for a girl from LA.
Great post and pictures! I giggled 🙂 I love Florida! Still waiting to meet someone special…maybe I need to come up with two requirements to find him!
My two requirements: trustworthy and goofy! I love to have a good time and try not to take myself too seriously, so I need a goofy mate. I found my husband and he is both trustworthy and love to be goofy. 🙂
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