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Let’s start at the sorta beginning… I have been going through some challenging times in my relationship for a year now. It’s not stuff I can totally talk about here because it’s not just my life it’s someone else’s too. And while I am an avid over-sharer, I am trying to be considerate of others and find a healthy outlet for myself as well.
Anyway.
I have asked a few close friends and relatives, “What should I do?”
And apparently, being an adult means no one tells you what to do anymore. When the heck did that happen?!
My mom bossed me around for 18 years and suddenly she’s all like, “I can’t tell you what to do, you should follow your heart blah blah blah…”
Thanks mother.
My best friend is the same way, “I don’t know…”
Cindy, you are the worst.
(Not really these are my two favorite people.)
The point is no one can make my life decisions for me, but I know they have an opinion. I’m sure they’ve thought, “I would do xyz.” Right?
Maybe not. Maybe they’ve thought, “Sh!t, I’m glad that is not my mess…”
Ha!
Since no one is telling me what to do I decided to finally go to therapy. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long – I love therapy! Well, I haven’t been to therapy since college and that was for completely different reasons, but I loved it back then for sure. Everyone should go to therapy.
If you thought right there, “I don’t need therapy!” <- Then, you need therapy the most.
So I found a super cute young little therapist very close to me that takes my insurance. I spent a lot of time looking around online and knew she was a great fit for me based on her philosophy and mention of relationships and stuff.
I went to my first session yesterday and tried to give her the bullet points version of my current dilemma. It was a really great meeting and I like her!
But, she didn’t tell me what to do.
My time would have been better spent learning how to flip a coin (yeah, I don’t know how to do that at this point in my life – but I’ll talk about it with my therapist so my self esteem isn’t crushed).
I know no one should tell me what to do. I’m probably lucky that I don’t have a bunch of controlling jerks in my life that tell me what to do and how to live. I am grateful my people are supportive of my decisions.
But I still don’t know what the heck I’m doing.
And that’s when I came up with this genius idea… there should be an app or some sort of anonymous form you can send to certain people where they can vote on what you should do. This way you wouldn’t know who is voting for what, but you can collect the opinions of the people who matter to you, so it will be a great business idea, and I just need some programmers, as I already know how to manage employees with the use of a pay stub online. Learn more about online businesses from Funnelstak Reviewed.
It could be anything from “Where should I go to college?” or “Should I get a dog?” to “Should I donate my kidney to my ex?”
Now can someone please get on this and send me the link so I can use it for my life decisions? Thanks!
First off, love the app idea. Secondly, I think you need to really applaud yourself for going to therapy. That’s like a huge step! And it sounds to me like you are right around the corner of figuring out what to do. You’ve got the answer in you. I think what’s great about therapy is that they can help you see what you really want. That’s what they are trained to do!
Thank you for always surprising me with your honesty on here. It makes me feel inspired to be more open and let myself be vulnerable.
Love that app idea…why do decisions have to be so complicated? Happy to hear you are enjoying therapy! How did you go about finding one? It’s something I have always thought about…would just be so nice to have an objective voice and listener. Please know whatever you Are going through….I’m only an email away
Have you tried the Reddit relationships thread? It’s public (which may not be something you want to do) but I feel like commenters usually have great advice on there! https://m.reddit.com/r/relationships
Thanks!
I’ve learned to NOT go to my mom for relationships advice (she’s WAY nicer than I would ever be), and that my best friend is pretty damn honest, but lets me go my own way if i ignore her advice (and still loves me).
That sounds like a good mom and best friend! My mom is pretty nice too. My best friend is not helpful enough lately!
I am just the same – can never make a decision if it’s something important and I plead and cry to everyone to make that decision for me, and of course they refuse. Sooooo. All my life decisions are left up to an 8-ball.
Adulting is really a pain, huh? When you have kids the adulting really ramps up and there is NO ESCAPE!
An app would be super, but the old Magic8 ball is tried a tried and true favorite!
I’ve seen a number of therapists in my life. I love that they do not tell me what to do but rather help me see things from an objective perspective and thus make my own educated decisions. I am a big proponent that everyone should see a therapist at one point in their life. Good luck bb. <3
I can’t tell you what to do or build and app for you but I can share this with you…
Wheel of Lunch – http://wheelof.com/lunch/
It’s helped me make MANY important food decisions!
I believe your answer is “magic 8 ball” you are welcome!! 😉
Or if you would like to go the survey route…surveymonkey!
Oh Monica if you marketed that app I’d be your business partner in a hot minute!
I love therapy! Unfortunately I’ve never had a therapist tell me what I should do (and I’ve had therapists in 3 different states) but they do help me to see things from different points of view and weigh pros/cons on decisions.
and if all else fails and/or is too much work you can ask the Magic 8 ball……….just make sure you phrase it as a yes or no question 🙂
Yeah this adulting thing is WAY too complicated. Like choices? Consequences? So confusing. When I tell my friends about my problems, I SECRETLY hope they are like OH here is what you need to do! Buuuut this hasnt happened yet. So I pray, run, talk to people I trust , journal, take deep breaths, and drink wines. I have also been considering therapy, sounds fun! I hope it helps you see things in a different way and help you find what will make you the most happy 🙂
Well my dog listens to my problems but always stays pretty quiet.
I don’t really talk to anyone. Eventually I just make a decision. But it takes me a long time to weigh pros and cons and I get wishy washy at first but sooner or later I make my decision.
I’ve always said I would pay someone to make all major life decisions for me. So far no one has taken me up on that offer. I guess I don’t pay enough. Yeah, being an adult is kinda overrated. When I was a kid bring an adult meant that I could do what I wanted and all kinds of fun things…it can be that, but mostly it’s not. Good luck with your decisions!
haha. That IS a genius idea. And I LOVE therapy too. In fact, I’ve been using TalkSpace and it’s awesome. Seriously. The app is genius because you get to talk to your therapist every day (if you need/want to). Anyway, I’ve been there, and sometimes sharing with the fam or close friends makes it even tougher in case we decide one way and they wanted us to go the other way or vice versa. That’s an even better reason why therapy is awesome. We can tell all of our problems to someone who will never be in the real life situation to judge, especially our significant others, where our fam and friends have been judging them since the day we met them. 😛 But maybe not, some people’s fams are cool like that. Hang in there. The answer will come!
I so love this idea! Making decisions is something I struggle with constantly especially since becoming a single Mum of a toddler. When my girl was a newborn everyone had advice to share but now everyone says I should know what to do. Ummm, not so much haha
Isn’t this what a magic 8 ball does? Lol
Yes! As a social worker and someone who has attended therapy I am a total therapy cheerleader! I mean, isn’t what we all want a need from time to time: time to talk about yourself to others with out judgement. Yep! So yay therapy! Go you! Way to take care of yourself!
Being an adult sucks sometimes! I hate making decisions, especially the hard ones…and usually the easy ones too. Sometimes I just want someone to tell me what I should do. I would love an app for that! That is a brilliant idea!
I have been thinking the same thing lately. I just want someone to tell me what to do. I’m tired of having to be responsible and make my own decisions. I want to give that up. It stinks to have to find your way when there seem to be no right or wrong paths. I hate it and frankly, I’ll buy the app if you create it. Too bad I’d probably to the opposite of what the app told me to do!!! Ha!! You’ll get through this. I tried therapy and I didn’t like the guy I was talking to. I didn’t feel like I was getting any feedback at all. I get that they aren’t supposed to tell you what to do, but it would be nice if there was some feedback.
I can do that for you!!
Really I have it on good authority that I am REALLY GOOD at TELLING PEOPLE WHAT TO DO. In fact, my mom told me pretty much every day of my life that I should be a drill sergeant in the army when I get older because I am great at barking out orders. (?!?!!?)
Plus, I don’t really KNOW you….and I could do it for free.
Win, win…
And if you don’t like that idea then I usually tell others to “go with their gut”….somewhere inside that gut or head or heart there is a little voice and that voice is speaking what you really want/wish to do….do it. Don’t question it or think of the “what ifs”….just do it.
You don’t want to regret a decision and end up like PRINCE. Our life is short….decisions shouldn’t be long.