It’s been less than a month that I started eating chicken again. But in this short time I have made huge strides with Intuitive Eating! Eating more protein has really helped me be aware of my hunger and fullness. Also, now that I have meat on my radar I’ve been having cravings for random things. Like today I had a crazy need to eat hard boiled eggs! So, I made a batch and had one as a mid-morning snack. 
Lunch was a massive salad topped with leftover Shepherd’s pie, hummus and a thick piece of TJ’s Tuscan ww Pane. So.good. 
Now it’s time for some Intuitive Eating stuff. If this isn’t your thing, please pass it on 
One of the questions I get most often about Intuitive Eating is about how to Make Peace with Food. It is the third step of IE after 1.) Reject the diet mentality and 2.) Honor your hunger. 
From Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Recsh’s website, this is the description of Making Peace with Food:
Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt.
So if you’re here you should already have realized Diets don’t work and you’re aiming for a life style change. Also, that you should eat when you’re hungry to take care of your body. You still with me? Okay, then we can proceed…
Making peace with food is another way of saying – There are NO bad or forbidden foods.
You can no longer say, “I can’t eat brownies.” Or if you pass up birthday cake because it’s high in calories when you really want a piece – then, you’re doing it wrong. 
www.nataliedee.com
True, there are times when you may pass up something indulgent because you don’t want to feel overly full or uncomfortable – and that is okay. But, if you are denying yourself something you really want because of the calorie count spinning through your head than you are not making peace with food.
Food is not bad. Stabbing someone is bad (unless they’re trying to steal your food, then it’s permissible). But, food shouldn’t have good or bad labels.
Healthy and un-healthy labels? Maybe. But not “good” or “bad”.
Yeah, but how do you do that?
Well, for me it was a very long process. I used to tell myself I shouldn’t eat cereal any more and in preparation to “give up” cereal I would binge on it. I probably ended up eating a week’s worth of it in one day. So, giving it up for a week was canceled out. Fanfreakingtastic.
This happened with a few different foods when I was trying to create a diet to help me lose weight. I would swear off ice cream or white bread or Clif bars only to end up eating them more because I thought I couldn’t or shouldn’t.
Finally I told myself it was all good. I could eat any food I wanted, but I should only eat it until I’m full. Since years of binging and restricting had killed my hunger signals, this was very hard.
I over ate these newly “okayed” foods sometimes. But, since I knew I could have them again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that… I didn’t feel the need to eat the whole box now.
Slowly I realized that if I eat 4 bowls of cereal I feel bloated afterwards. Plus, I’m still hungry after! And when I eat ice cream while standing in the kitchen at 4 o’clock in the afternoon I feel like crap for the rest of the night.
So, when I bought dark chocolate peanut butter cupsin October I joked that I would eat them all in one night. A lot of readers said they wouldn’t be able to control themselves if they had these in the house. 
But, the reality is – they lasted for a few weeks between Ben and I. Sure I may have had one too many for dessert a few times, but I never shoved them in my mouth in an out of control binge either.
I know that if I eat 8 PB cups I’m going to feel crappy. My stomach won’t really hurt (because it’s an iron cauldron and I can really eat anything), but my energy will rise and plummet so I’m useless, and my blood sugar will want to be spiked back up and instigate me to binge.
I learned that the hard way, but now I know.
Even though I have made Peace with Food there are still times when I over do it. There are times when I amthisclose to buying the new Cinnamon Cheerios, but put them back on the shelf (even after they’re ridden around the entire store with me in happy anticipation of being eaten) because I know I’m in a bad place mentally and will eat them all that night. That happened this weekend. 
So, like so many other things in healthy living it’s a balance. I let myself have full permission to eat things that were formerly forbidden like granola, ice cream, cheese. But I also try and pay attention to how I feel and how I want to feel for the rest of the day.
If I want energy to run tomorrow then I should eat a good meal for dinner. If I want to avoid binging in the afternoon I should have nut butter with breakfast. And if I don’t want to feel bloated for the rest of the night then I shouldn’t eat 4 bowls of cereal, a Vitatop with PB and a handful of chocolate chips for dessert. Not that I do that. Anymore.
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{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for this post. I’ve been trying really hard to make peace with food.
For me, pasta was always a food I was sorta scared of. I’m not the biggest fan of it but I think it’s mostly because it scares me. I just moved to Italy for 5 months, and I’ve been trying to change my perspective not only on pasta (that’s only one example) but food in general.
Yesterday, I walked past nutella at the store about 3 times. I didn’t buy it out of fear that I would binge. I hope to one day make peace with the fact that nutella is delicious and should be enjoyed.
I’m sending “peace with nutella” thoughts your way
Great post! Or maybe I like it because I am waiting for the pizza man to come?
I do agree that making foods off-limits just leads to binging. I’ve also found that if they are not off-limits I stop wanting them because they don’t make me feel good. I still struggle with listening to my body and knowing when it’s full, but I am sure that will come.
I am definitely torn between the calorie counting I do and the idea of intuitive eating. I like IE a lot. I like the concept. I think I do a pretty good job of incorporating IE into my life while STILL counting calories and eating in moderation.
I do not deny myself any foods. There are foods that I probably wouldn’t eat now that I am a calorie counter and conscious of healthy living but at the same time I’m not restricting myself.
What I do works for me. If I was stricter with my calorie counting I’d lose weight (those last 7 pounds) but I don’t care to deny myself things I want and crave.
I’m totally on the same page with this – I know if I counted I could lose the weight I’m struggling with, but I don’t want it to be the most important thing in my life so I don’t.
Great post! I have a huge problem with eating too little during the day and then binging at night on cereal. I have dealt with eating disorders for the last 13 years and my hunger and fullness signals are so messed. I rarely feel either hungry or full and it makes eating and listening to my body very difficult. I have “Intuitive Eating” and need to break it out and make the commitment to reading it.
I used to eat too little during the day and binge on cereal (or something similar) every night for years. It was scary to eat more during the day, sometimes I still ate at night, but for the most part I was able to control it because I wasn’t hungry.
This is definitely something I’m working on. I tried it and ended up binge eating a lot, because I was so used to counting calories. (Speaking of binging… I bought a tub of those PB cups and ate the whole thing in one sitting. Not my proudest moment!) But I’m a lot better about eating foods that were once off limits, like you mentioned- especially granola. It used to be a huge trigger food- once I had some, I just HAD to have the whole box.
I love reading about other people’s experience with intuitive eating- it gives me hope that one day I can have that kind of control
I’m definitely still learning, but slowly and surely I’m getting better and it feels good
Great post Monica. It definitely sounds like you are experiencing a lot of personal growth. I also appreciate you sharing the principles of the book in a really down-to-earth way.
Thanks for your post! I was literally about to go overboard on this half of a leftover cinnamon roll even though I’m going out for pizza with friends for dinner (side note: why do I scarf horribly unhealthy foods while reading healthy living blogs?), but luckily I read your post about halfway through and threw the rest of it away. I have been doing better lately, but it’s still a struggle. Thanks for being honest and sharing yours!
This is something I’ve been working on for a long time. I know that if I have one cupcake, it’s ok. I know that after I eat 3, I won’t feel so good so maybe just stick with one.
Hey! Awesome post! I am also trying to get over the ‘good food vs. bad food’ mental game that we are all inundated with! I am a HUGE cereal, peanut butter and chocolate finatic!! I can eat PB by the spoonful and then eat a Ritter Sport in about 4.6 seconds. I could eat cereal every meal of the day, and for a few snacks in between. Your post stood out because I am doing the “how many points is this” tally everytime I eat. When I have hungry days, I still find myself trying to stay on the lower side of points, then I still feel hungry. It is a hard change to make, but thanks for bringing it up…I might have to go make a trip to the library (not much here in Oki for books that I would like to read!)
Yeah, when your life is ruled by points or calories or whatever – you aren’t paying attention to what your stomach is telling you. Don’t get caught up in the numbers. Some days will be higher than others, but some days you’re just hungrier than others and we read way too much into that.
Rock. On. Girl!
Thanks
What a fantastic way to look at eating. I am going to have to pick up this book. Thanks for sharing
Balance is so important. Unfortunately some foods ARE bad for me. I can’t eat certain foods in any amount because of the extreme pain I would feel afterwards. Gluten, raw onions, citrus, sometimes apples, and a couple others that I haven’t been able to pin down yet. Having foods that are, in fact, “off limits” makes life a bit harder, but not impossible.
Yeah, I guess it’s a different story if the foods are actually bad for you. That would be really rough for me since I have a long history of negative relationships with foods. You are a very strong girl
such a great post Monica. I just started rereading Geneen Roth’s Breaking Free From Emotional Eating and it’s definitely reminding me of the things you brought up in this post. i’m happy to see you enjoying food more an fueling your body the way it need to be. you were my inspiration for running and fueling!
Thanks so much for this post. I am really trying to work on intuitive eating. I’ve gotten much better with not under-eating during the day and fueling myself with better quality, whole foods. This has definitely helped curb my desire to binge, but I still struggle with the habit of it, both as a emotional coping mechanism and during times/situation where I used to always overeat (home alone at night, etc) even though the physical craving is gone. When the desire hits, I try to take a moment to think about it first, and though I’m not always successful, remembering how crappy it’s going to make me feel later, and choosing not to go there, is really helpful. I’ve been struggling a bit more lately, but this was a great reminder.
That was always my argument with the RD – If I eat more during the day I’m still going to eat at night because it’s a habit and I do it to cope with things. True. Kinda.
Stopping the physical craving does help A LOT with being able to at least realize it. Even if you don’t stop it every time you are at a better place to learn from it because it’s not a physical need.
Good luck
I read this book a few months ago. Didn’t go so well for me. After many, many years of Weight Watchers… I think I went a little crazy. I just read Bethanny Frankel’s book, and thinking about her Naturally Thin Program and Intuitive Eating together helps me a little more.
Just wanted to also thank you for posting the photo of the peanut butter cups! I was just sitting here trying to decide what I wanted for dessert and I totally forgot that I had them in my cabinet! Now let’s see if I can just eat two and stop there…
If you forgot they were even in the cabinet than you’re doing better than me
WW made me really food obsessed, but once I had some time away from that I was able to get back to my body’s needs.
I wish I had your strength.
I know what to do, but it’s like something takes over me. And then I just hate myself. Because it’s not just one or two nights. It’s years.
Great post! I love boild eggs with salt and pepper. I battle the to eat chicken vs to not eat chicken??? I have mixed feelings, but for now eat chicken..tomorrow, who knows? Yes I know I am very uncommitted and have a hard time making decisions..lol
I’m totally on the fence about eating chicken right now. Boo.
I guess we’ll figure it out eventually
Long time lurker – not sure why this post made me come out of hiding – but I LOVE the concept of intuitive eating. I think it’s so healthy and you really do end up understanding what your body likes. I swear by not focusing on what I CAN’T have, I eat less.
I have so many friends who try to cut out certain bad foods only to binge on them later and totally regret it. I know I did this too (and who did I think I was kidding?). I think it took until my first pregnancy to realize that I really enjoy eating and that you CAN eat without being a blimp. It’s all about healthy choices and moderation.
Now I’m rambling, but thanks for this post!
I swear by not focusing on what I CAN’T have, I eat less. < - Love that, agree
As someone who struggles daily with binge eating, I truly appreciate the honesty you put into your blog. The challenge certainly is not an easy one and there are days when it is hard to believe that there will come a time when I will truly be at peace with food. I think I have damaged myself too much and now know way too much to ever truly be “normal.” your blog gives me hope that there is some light at the end of this tunnel.
Thank you.
But, your body is very smart and strong and it will figure out what it needs and learn how to tell you (if you’re listening). Good luck 
I know it’s tough, especially when you feel like you’ve messed yourself up so much
Thanks for this post! I feel like I’ve had the same problems for years and no one else I know seems to have any suggestions to help. I eat fairly normally throughout the day, but I’m like another person at night and I’ll eat like I’m not going to wake up in the morning! I’m getting better at telling myself “you’re full, you don’t need to eat two bowls of cereal right after dinner” and try to find something else to do. It’s just good to know someone else has had to work through a similar situation and has good tips to share!
Thanks!!
This post is why I originally started reading your blog. Please continue to blog as much as possible and live it as much as possible. This is the sustainance I need to continue my IE journey. I also want to recommend the book “Eating Mindfully” by Dr. Susan Albers and “Diet Survivors” by Judith Matz.
thanks for share!