I saw two very powerful things on the internet this week. They both spoke to me and really hit home.
Body image is still an issue I struggle with. Probably always will.
We all have been told about the magic of Photoshop. We have been told not compare ourselves to the models in magazines because it’s not ‘real’. We have been told real women can be curvy and it’s okay. We have been told to love and accept our bodies.
But it’s hard.
It’s hard not to compare myself to the gorgeous housewives. The girl with the perfectly flat stomach at the beach. The flawless model wearing the new running shorts I want. I bet she never gets chub rub…
First, Lily Myers’ The Shrinking Woman poem.
“Watching the struggle I either mimic or hate her,
And I don’t want to do either anymore
but the burden of this house has followed me across the country
I asked five questions in genetics class today and all of them started with the word “sorry”.
I don’t know the requirements for the sociology major because I spent the entire meeting deciding whether or not I could have another piece of pizza
a circular obsession I never wanted but” – Full text here.
Then, I read Lauren Fleshman’s Keeping It Real post. She is a professional athlete. She is gorgeous. In her post she shows us her six pack. And then her cellulite.
Some days I think I have it together. Then, I have a bad day where I feel like I have as many issues as ever….with food. with relationships. with my thighs.
I have been told I am too LOUD. And bossy. And chubby. I am blessed enough to come from a family where my mother NEVER criticized my body or weight. I don’t have snarky friends. I am very lucky to surround myself with people who love me just as I am.
So most of these labels I have placed upon myself. Right?
Since it didn’t come from people around me I have always figured my pain is self inflicted. I told myself I was too fat, right?
Well, I am just now realizing it came from somewhere outside on some level. And I don’t want to continue passing on that message. So I pass these pieces on to you.
Take what you need from this. Leave what you don’t. Pass on the positive.
(source)
Amanda Perry @ Sistas of Strength says
We are all so hard on ourselves. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could change that? 🙂
Joelene says
What a great post. Thank you for your honesty. Crazy how we all feel the same at some point or another. But comforting too, to know that we are not alone in our struggles, thoughts and musings about our bodies.
Sarah K says
That is one of my favorite poems. I’m pretty sure I’ve shared it with all my friends at some point or another. Such an important message to spread. Great post!
Jen says
Couldn’t love ya more for this post. I am left with extra skin after my weight loss and at 25 years old, I have spent a large portion of the last 3 years after my weight loss feeling incredibly shameful. None of my friends know what it’s like to weigh even 20 pounds more than they weight. I fluctuate 10 pounds or so these days and feel awful when those 10 lbs are in the upward direction. I let it affect way too much of my life and feel so alone sometimes. This article reminded me to keep my head up and let my confidence come through more!
Running Librarian says
We always see others differently than they see themselves. Just as we see ourselves differently than other people do. I have always thought you look so athletic and I would love to look as strong as you. 🙂 Thanks for the post!
Livi says
this is so awesome!
Liz @ Carpe Diem and Run says
And this is why I love your blog!
Sarah says
You are awesomely fit, beautiful & perfect!!! You are helping so many others by sharing your thoughts. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! 🙂
Carly says
Such a great post!! I think we all need this reminder every now and then.
Lindsay says
THANK YOU. This post is just what I needed lately. It’s hard to remind yourself that you’re beautiful just the way you are when you constantly compare yourself to others, especially those in the media. I’ve had a tough time lately coming to terms with finding a balance between work, life, and exercise, and some weight gain along with it. This is perfect to remind yourself that you’re still fit and healthy and beautiful no matter what. I love that you share things like this.
katie says
I also saw both of these online recently and they stuck with me. We have these miraculous bodies that carry us through life, and all we can do is obsess over the fact that they don’t meet these ridiculous expectations. But the fact is, not one single woman will ever be “beautiful” enough based on these standards, and it’s a pointless, losing battle. So my goal is no longer to be “beautiful.” It’s to take care of my soul and live happy and with no regrets 🙂 thanks for sharing your struggles and insecurities and being a real person!
Barbara says
This is a wonderful post. I struggled with an eating disorder for 12+ years (a diagnosed eating disorder, at least – this excludes the undiagnosed disordered eating patterns) and have now found solace, hope, and recovery in running. Thank you for sharing this.
Kelly says
Thank you so much for posting this! On a “fat” day it’s exactly what I needed 🙂 YOU ARE AWESOME
April says
It’s hard not to have body image issues. I feel the same, some days I am so with it and I think I have it all figured out, the next day I don’t! Great links you posted. I checked out both. As a mother of a young daughter these are things I worry about with my little one (shrinking woman stuff). I do my best to promote positive self image for her and about myself, so she sees me living it. My parents were not so good at it. Keep the positive stuff rolling. Thanks for the post. 🙂
Linda @ Running4two says
Thanks for sharing. Body image has and always be a struggle for me and so many others.
David @ Captain Speedypants says
Great post. There is beauty in all shapes and sizes.
Courtney says
Monica, not only are you beautiful, you are also an incredible athlete. We all have days where we struggle, but I think you are amazing!
Stacie says
As someone who also loves food, I love your philosophy towards life. I am trying to apply it in my life as well. I sense that you are very “carpe diem” and go with the flow when it comes to what you want to do, when you want to run, what you want to eat…etc. And for that reason you enjoy your life. I love Lauren’s post. Makes me feel better that we’re all in the same boat.
Kelsey @ Fueling Strong says
Thank you for sharing the things that are hardest to share. I’ve struggled with my body image my whole life, but I rest in peace knowing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God. He created me just the way I am, so I need to stop criticizing this masterpiece He made and learn to love it more. It’s a daily challenge. I fail often, but I have hope that I will love all of me someday.
Emma says
Thank you thank you thank you.
Ange @ Cowgirl Runs says
LOVED Lauren’s post this week AND Jennifer Lawrence’s response regarding body image.
Running helps me – because I’m pushing ME, my body is able to do great things.
Jenna says
Wow. LOVED that video. Great post. What I needed to hear today. Thanks so much!!!
Adriana @Laced Up With Lipstick says
Love this! That video was awesome, thank you for sharing. I think you look great by the way!
Ganeeban says
“…I bet she never gets chub rub…” Story of my life! I’ll always be envious of the girls (and people) who never get chub rub! Self love is hard, becuase although I am happy with my body, losing those extra 10 lbs or a flat stomach always sound better!
april says
love this post. sometimes we all need reminders that we’re beautiful just the way we are <3
Robyn says
This is such a wonderful post! I have been struggling a lot with body image lately and it’s truly getting me down. I’m also raising 3 girls who I want to be confident and not struggle the way I do… It’s such a tough task on both sides!
caitlin says
great post, my friend. so well written and honest. thanks for being you.
Maru says
Ayyy Monica, me encantó este post!! I love this post!
Diane says
Thanks Monica, this was a great post. I struggle with a lot of the same issues from day to day. You ARE beautiful!
Helena says
Wow! Thank you SO much for sharing both of those. The poem in particular was amazing. I think we all secretly struggle with these issues from time to time (if not daily) and I think the more we voice it and share it, the less we’ll all struggle.
Bobbie says
Thanks for sharing this Monica. I am the mother of three precious girls who I need to share this with! It also keeps me mindful of the things I say and do around them.
Maria G says
I feel you, but I’m gonna leave my girl Jennifer Lawrence speak for me –
http://screen.yahoo.com/jennifer-lawrence/jennifer-lawrences-heartfelt-commentary-body-234610417.html
xoxo
Corrine says
I LOVE THIS! Thank you! Yesterday, I had the absolute WORST day on every front imaginable- and of course, “being fat” popped up. It’s crazy how much worse I feel about myself and my body when I feel bad in other areas of my life…
I needed this today, Thank You!! 🙂
Nicki says
Thank you Thank you
Thank you so much for posting this. I think we all have this unattainable picture in our head and we need to stop doing that. We need to stop comparing. Thank you for being real and for being a positive role model!
Cori @ shes going the distance says
it’s amazing how you can remember negative things from youth, i’ve been called too hairy, flat chested, big nose.. you know, stupid things kids/people say.
I won’t forget it and i’ve spent most of my adulthood working on being not only okay with myself, but being incredibly happy knowing there is no one else exactly like me. And those chicks at the beach with a 6 pack or the models on the magazines are just like us, all with insecurities.
You’re beautiful Monica!
Kathy says
Thank you for sharing this! After my two children, my belly is just not what it used to be. The other day, I was laying on my bed and my 5 year old was playing with my belly (sounds strange, but we have fun making faces out of our belly buttons 🙂 and she said “your belly is squishy, mommy!”. And I said, “I know. I’m working on making that go away.” She then says to me, “No mommy! I love you the way you are!” Our perceptions of ourselves are usually so different from how others see us. It’s just so hard to remember.
Vanessa says
I appreciate this post so much! Body image is something that I, too, constantly struggle with…That being said, I want to let you know that YOU are BEAUTIFUL, Monica. Whenever you begin to doubt yourself, just remember how strong you are. For example, it takes amazing dedication, and physical, as well as mental strength, to run like you do. You exhibit such confidence and enthusiasm, and never cease to amaze me.
Becky says
That video. Wow.
And I love Lauren Fleshman’s post, I think it’s so great that she shared those photos to remind us that no one is perfect.
Alissa M. says
Thanks for sharing this, Monica. If I may be so pushy, this makes me think of an awesome book I’ve read recently that I am telling everyone about: Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection. You may have already read it, or heard her TED talks…she really speaks my language, and has really helped me with a lot of stuff, not just food-related. Not saying that you need as much help as I do 🙂 but her books and her research are pretty amazing.
And I will agree with the comment above about not watching housewives/other TV shows that just…make me feel bad. Not just body image, but really a negative energy.
Ashlee says
I greatly appreciate your post, for I too deal with self image issues. I had a baby four months ago and am still working to lose all the weight I had gained from that. And though a lot of women comment “oh, you just had a baby” and “think what your body can do” and so forth, I sure as hell don’t see it or feel that way. I try to be realistic about it, but when my old pants STILL don’t fit, and there’s a flabby, saggy lower belly preventing anything cute from fitting… the mirror is not my friend. But I’m working to live a better life and be realistic about what’s going on. And by the way, I think you’re pretty hot! And I actually like to think that when I get to be a hot mom, I’ll look like you.. I think we have the same body type.. So I read your blog as motivation.
And my baby is half Hispanic, with reddish/aubern hair…
Elizabeth @ Positive Change says
I loved both of those articles. I think this is a constant struggle and I find it more with athletes. We can run full marathons, 1/2 marathons, do Triathlons, but we still put ourselves down. I have a supportive family and husband who point out the stuff I have done and but it is still hard to accept at times. You are beautiful!!
Ang @ Nutty for Life says
I posted about Lauren Fleshman’s piece as well. It was incredible to see those pictures and I certainly appreciated her openness.
Katie D. says
I think regardless of a persons size, they should be taking care of themselves, something you model!
When I’m out and about (thinking in particular of dinner at a Chinese Buffet last night) and see people of any shape and size wearing pj pants and cut off t-shirts it is a turnoff.
Sure, I felt like my pants were too tight, but I was dressed and I was working hard to “fake it ’til I make it”.
chandra says
I miss your LOUD, bossy mouth!!!!!! 🙂
(Have fun for me in Vegas this weekend!)
runeatrepeat says
I was just thinking about you!!!! Please come to Vegas. Just show up. Start driving now?
Jackie says
Thanks for sharing this it’s a constant struggle for me too!
sally @ sweat out the small stuff says
You should take a look at this article if you have time…
http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/11/what-no-one-tells-you-about-dramatic-weight-loss.html
I read this article (and saw the shocking series of corresponding photos) and was totally blown away. It so clearly reminded me that everyone struggles and there’s a good chance that weight loss won’t “fix” those struggles. There’s always something we can feel bad about. I’ve always battled with weight and self image issues. I can vividly remember saying to myself it didn’t matter if i lost those last ten pounds. I’d still hate my curly frizzy hair and my cellulite and my blotchy skin and that I sweat so much I always had pit stains….and so on and so on….Bottom line is no one is free from suffering through the feelings of inadequacy. We all have them. I’m sure I’ve said this before but the reason I enjoy your blog so much is because I feel you are so open about your true daily life (all of it!). I remember how giddy I was to bump into you (and Ben) at the expo. It was like seeing an old friend I hadn’t seen in years. And that’s because I think you are awesome not because I know what the circumference of your thigh is. We all need each other to keep each other lifted above the negative thoughts. Like one big support group. I had an amazing PR at my half marathon on Saturday just 6 days after running the NYC Marathon and I was so happy. Then I saw pics of me running in my winter tights and all I could see were these huge thighs. I posted one of the photos as my cover photo and then got disgusted and removed it. But in the short time it was up I had a dear friend tell me she’d do anything for such shapely legs. She hated her skinny knobby kneed legs. So there you have it. We ALL have these feelings. Sorry I just commented a novel and a half here. I just feel very strongly when it comes to this stuff. Now go to Vegas, have a drink, a great race and tons of fun with friends please. And then post about it! I can’t wait to see high heels strewn about and elevator pics.
Paula says
I think you just posted anything I was going to say and more! I have also struggled with poor body image even after learning to control my anorexia. I love RunEatRepeat because for all your amazing running feats, you still seem so NORMAL. You know, like not the kind of person who never eats cookies or pancakes or piles of cheese because she’s too concerned about looking perfect. Not the kind of person who tells me *I* should never eat these things either, if I care about looking perfect (I’m lookin at you, “thinspo”). You are a real life inspiration, and that’s why we think you rock.
Angelica says
First, people need to stop watching shows like the housewives, which perpetuate false beauty/standards (hello Botox, lipo, implants, etc.) and ugly meanness towards other women. Second, you get to blog for a living–that should say something about how many women look up to you. We like you because you’re (funny, fit, talented, hard-working, insecure, flawed, gorgeous) REAL. I think you’re a great role model. Take it easier on yourself.
Kathy says
I saw that video and showed my teen girls that video….I think (no, I know) they were both shocked by it.
Love the link to Laura F.’s photos/blog. Those will be nice to show the girls too….real women….I too have been called a lot of those same words although, my family are the main ones who called me LOUD, Bossy, and that I should go into the ARMY b/c its the only place I would get to do both of those things all the time. Words stick just as images do.
I catch myself saying stuff to my kiddos and then stop or correct myself….it.is.hard. but we just keep trying.
Nice post.
😉
Jojo @ RunFastEatLots says
Thank you for bringing this issue to light. It is something that I struggle with as well
Amy B says
I just wonder if I am shrinking and how my children perceive my unspoken acts as I sit across the table. Subtle messages, like a magazine cover photo, are insidious. Where does the idea of being too fat originate? It did not come from within. Words of encouragement and love have a tough time trumping the deluge of “perfection” streaming out of our t.v sets, magazine covers, and our mumbling in front of the mirror as we try on outfit #5. Actions speak louder than words. Thank you for the reality check: my daughter is watching me.
Dee says
Hey Monica,
I can definitely relate to your struggles. I am in no way affiliated (and they don’t advertise anything anyway!) but two Facebook pages I LOVE which promote posive body image are ‘Erin brown/fit mama training’and ‘this is not a diet-it’s your life’ These girls have helped me to make peace with my body and would recommend!
TartanJogger tartanjogger.com says
Thanks for sharing this; it resonates loudly!
jessica yas says
Love the poem. Makes me realize that spending a whole life trying to literally “shrink” myself is not a fulfilling endeavor. Thanks Monican.
Coach [email protected] says
Too bad I’m not going to be in Vegas with you. I could tell you how great you are. Now slow down and quit beating your coach!
Lauren R. says
I so appreciate your post on body image and the struggles we ALL face, men and women, when it comes to our looks. However as a dedicated reader of yours I would like to comment on something that has bothered me for weeks, I keep seeing this Pile on the Miles all over blogland, a focus to pile on miles and not pounds over the holidays. I worry that these kinds of “challenges” are what really add to our insecurities. I just wish that once in a while we can just give each other a break and stop at this beautiful time of year and just live and enjoy food, family and give back a little instead of focusing on our pounds so darn much! When I hear pack on miles and not pounds all I hear is making women feel guilty if they enjoy a few too many sugar cookies this Christmas. Kind of rambling now but I just want to support women and tell everyone it’s okay!! Check out this blog post I recently read that I think speaks perfectly..
http://www.thelunchboxdiaries.com/being-okay-with-holiday-weight-gain/
Laura P says
What a great post, thanks for the links.
Alex says
It is so hard for me not to compare myself… I do it all the time though. Love the picture at the end so cute and so true!!
Sue says
I love and admire Lauren Fleshman as a woman and athlete – she’s so honest and frank. Same goes to you too Monica – for speaking your mind.
Cindy @runarelyrun says
It IS so hard. I feel like every other thought I have is about food, or food guilt. It’s all so much to carry on our shoulders. At least running helps focus that shift back to where it belongs. Thanks for sharing…
Bree says
This is just so powerful. That video almost made me cry.
Mary says
You are beautiful. And every time I see your pix, I think I’d like to have leg muscles like yours. You are inspirational.
Karleen says
I agree with Mary here. I obviously don’t know you personally but you have a great figure and great runners legs:)
But yes, the negative body image comes from ourselves and sometimes we don’t see what others see:/
Ashley says
Yup — YOU are beautiful Monica 🙂
Kayla @ Fit Life Forward says
LOVE that video… thank you for sharing.