Today I learned what “Wind Chill Factor” means. I had never experienced cold, cuts right through you kinda wind until today. Ouch.
I set out on my last “long” run of 8 miles and it was cold this morning. I considered going back for more clothes, but thought I’d warm up once I kept running – WRONG. I never warmed up and the wind was hitting me hard. I tried to keep my hands in fists (inside my gloves) as much as possible, but they still got so cold they were aching.
At one point several points in the run I just wanted to cry, but I know from experience that running + crying = hyperventilating 🙁
I am not even sure how far I went (I think it must have been between 7 and 8 miles) because my Garmin was not working today.
When I got home Ben could see I was upset and I finally broke down and said some bad words expressed my frustration.
Truth time: I have considered dropping out of the marathon more than once in the last few weeks. I am frustrated, scared, overwhelmed and under prepared. A lot of running is mental and when you are running a marathon you really have to be mentally strong and positive. I am not those things right now. It is like I have already decided I cannot do it and I will fail. That is rough.
I do not believe I am physically or mentally ready to do my best, or even a good job, at the marathon. I am “psyched out” 🙁
But, I do think I can at least finish it (even if it is walking) and try to have a good time. So, I think I will press on and run it and just try to finish, walk some of it if I want, and enjoy running around Disney.
It is very hard to admit that I am not ready to do a good job (mentally or physically). But, that’s where I am right now…
Before I left on my chilly run I had half a bagel with PB. When I got back I paced around a bit until I could feel my hands, then got in the shower. I decided an egg-centric breakfast was in order: Egg scramble with spinach, onions and cheese, toast with butter and Pumpkin Butter and an orange. 
Whew! I feel like this post (and my post-run freak out) was very cathartic. Thanks for reading. I feel a lot better now 🙂
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You can do it!!!
Running is a lot mental power and some physical power. But you have to believe in yourself. You’ve gone this far! You can do it.
Take a week off. Honestly. I went through the *exact* same feelings when training for the Long Beach Marathon last summer/fall. I was burnt out. Instead of taking a week off, I kept on plugging away, and the more I ran the more dreadful it became. I reached the start line tired and over trained. In retrospect a week off would have done both my mind and body good.
They say it’s better to show up 10% undertrained than 1% overtrained.
Running a marathon is such a HUGE accomplishment — whether you have to walk some or not. Go get it girl!
Also, I’m from Mass. so I’ve done my share of cold weather runs — have you tried wearing two pairs of gloves? Sometimes I wear a (tightish) pair of cloth gloves (you can even buy kids gloves to make them small) and then wear a bigger pair of wool mittens over them. I’ve also seen people wear baseball batting gloves (or golf gloves) as a first layer, and mittens over them.
Another key is double socks. I played field hockey in high school and college, so i use those knee socks that went over my shinguards as a first layer. Then I put normal ankle socks over them. It actually doesn’t take up too much room in your sneakers.
I hope one of those things helps!
I ran a shit time during my marathon but I still ran the damn thing. Do it, and I bet you’ll surprise ourself.
I read your blog often, and I am running Disney too and am also unprepared… When I started training it was great, then my husband deployed to Iraq and it is hard to find a sitter for my 3 year old. I am going to do Disney, because I know that I can FINISH… it is my first time, so I of course want to do great, but know that probably wont happen. Keep your head up, you may not PR, but you can finish and will do as best as you can given everything else.
Oh, I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. 🙁
I think you are amazing for braving the cold. I live in Winnipeg, MB, and barely venture outside during the winter. Too much of a wuss. Kudos to you!
Live through this and you won’t look back..
I know you can do the marathon Monica. You’ve done all the work for the training & you are definitely prepared. Maybe not the best you wanted to be, but finishing is just an amazing accomplishment on it’s own. It’s something I would like to do some day and you are an idol in my eyes. You are way too hard on yourself, but I understand. Just know that we are all cheering you on!! You will do amazing!!
It’s hard enough to get out in the cold when you’re used to it, let alone when you’re used to warm weather. One benefit of a winter marathon is that you’re forced to get out there. Without it, how many runs would you have skipped due to cold? You’re already successful because you haven’t given up. And I definitely admire you today. I’m in DC and I decided to wait and see if tomorrow’s any better.
Even those of us who have lived in the cold for our whole lives have trouble running in it. This is your first winter outside of Cali and you’ve been kicking serious ass making it out there for runs all the time. That alone is a great accomplishment. I’m sorry you don’t feel as prepared as you wanted to be, but you’re still doing amazing and you will finish that marathon!! There is no shame in walking while running a race! You will rock it girl.
You.Are.Amazing. I ♥ you Monica!!
Oh Monica don’t give up. This is the hardest time to run… It’s hard to even get myself motivated to brave the cold weather. Just remember you can only run how far you THINK you can. It definitely is a mind over matter kinda thing. Keep your chin up girl 🙂
wecolme to life on the east coast….i haven’t run in a month due to an injury and it’s been snowing for days…but I am running tomorrow some how. you’ll do OK, mind over matter…wind block stuff should help you out.
MAD PROPS for running in this wind! I’m in DC and just got back from the market and it is FREEZING out there! It is a huge accomplishment that you got out and ran as much as you did today. You’re right that you will have fun once you’re in the marathon and it’s ok if you don’t run the entire way. Keep up all the awesome ass-kicking!
girl you are so strong and amazing. the fact that you stuck it out in bone chilling wind and cold says a lot about your mental toughness. plus, like others have said, disney is the place to have fun during 26.2 miles so keep your head up 🙂
Stay strong and don’t let it get you down. Think of the wind as resistance training, you physically experienced much more than just running 7 or 8 miles, that wind made it much more difficult, so appreciate that!!!
If there was ever a marathon to have FUN at it is Disney!! How can you not smile and enjoy when you get to run through Cinderella’s Castle and high five Disney characters!! Get some positive thinking going there girlie!!!
Stay strong lady!
(((Monica))) I’m sorry you don’t feel as prepared as you want to be for the marathon — I don’t think I could ever train for a late winter/early spring marathon in the cold Northeast! Just do the best you can (and consider the race a long training run, if that would help) — I agree with everyone else who said you’d regret it if you didn’t race.
And vent away here — that’s what blogging is for! 🙂
Ohhmygosh I know what you mean about the wind, it’s aweful. You are going to do just fine in the marathon! How can you regret completing 26.2 miles?? Stay positive 🙂
Oh, and I meant to add…I totally know that running + crying = hyperventilating feeling! Sometimes I think it’s totally necessary, though, as like it’s cleansing you emotionally.
Monica, Alison is right…you’ll feel worse by not trying.
I did Disney two years ago and WALKED A LOT, but made the focus having fun and not on my time. Take a camera; there are so many great picture opportunities! You may like to check out my post here to get a feel for some of the fun sights” http://whatissharondoingnow.wordpress.com/2008/01/13/disney-marathon/
Girl, hold your head up high!! You will do great, whether you run it or walk 3/4 of it! It does not matter, as long as you try your best! I have faith in you! And, it’s warm in disney 🙂
<3 jess
xoxo
Girl…I can hear the wind blowing outside today, and I’m dreading the fact that I have to go out at all. Props to you for RUNNING out there…it’s friggen cold.
Facing the fact that you might not be ready for the marathon is very brave of you. It sucks to feel that way, but I know where you are. I went into my marathon knowing that i was going to have to walk A LOT because of my injury. Twenty six point two is still a long ass distance, and believe me when I tell you that it takes MORE mental strength to walk it than it does to run it. It’s a sucky feeling, but the fact is that a finish is still a finish.
And anyway…I can’t think of a place that I’d rather walk 26.2 miles…Disney!! =) I’ll probably be walking my 1/2 marathon there in March at the rate I’m going. lol.
Don’t give up!! I agree with Alison, if you drop out you might regret it later on. Don’t just “try” to have a good time and finish choose to have a good time and finish.
You may not be able to run it all, but you’ll definitely be able to go the full marathon, and that’s so impressive and definitely an accomplishment in itself. Keep your head up!
I hate when it’s that cold and windy! Keep up the good work..we know you can do it!!
Don’t give up! The regret you’ll feel from dropping out will be much harder to deal with than the disappointment of not meeting your marathon time goal.
This windy, bone chilling weather is horrifying. I’m a little south of you in VA, but holy crap it’s cold out there. We just watched a garbage can fly down the street thanks to the wind; kudos to you for making it as far as you did this morning.
Just remember, the weather at Disney will be SO much better. It’s nice that you have this venue to vent a little. It’s cathartic, I know.
As far as I know, the weather will be pretty icky this whole next week, but please don’t let it get you down. Think warm, happy Disney thoughts.
Good luck!