Hello! I went to bed right at 10pm last night so I could beat the heat and get a run in this morning. I ran to the beach, which is about 5 miles from Ben’s parents. When I got there I did an extra mile then called Ben to come get me.
“How do you deal with mean comments?”
Inevitably, if you have a blog you’ll eventually get a mean comment or two. Or perhaps not a directly mean comment, but a comment that hurts your feelings for some reason.
Surprisingly, I don’t get a lot of mean comments. I think it’s mostly because I used to be a chola and you don’t want to go there. If anyone can, a Mexi-can.
But, I do get the occasional mean comment and I have a policy to address this. I totally believe in free speech, and never want to have to delete a comment so my comment deletion policy is…
RER’s Comment Deletion Policy: I have never deleted a comment, but I do reserve the right to if you are being mean just to hurt feelings.But, if you are going to be mean – at least be funny. And then I’ll probably leave it…
I will never delete a comment just because it is of a different opinion than my own. Please share your thoughts and feelings freely so we can have an open discussion with different points of view.
If it’s your blog, you get to be the boss of what you leave and what you delete. So, make your own policy that makes you feel comfortable.
Here is my approach to dealing with mean comments:
1. Realize it’s probably not about you. When someone says something mean it’s probably because something you posted triggers a negative feeling they have that has nothing to do with you. Don’t take it personally – the commenter can be having a bad day, a bad self esteem day or other issues that motivated that comment.
2. If you want to address it, reply after you’ve cooled off. Our first instinct is to come out guns blazing and defend ourselves, our lifestyle and our blog. But, wait.
Reply with the grace of an adult. Communicate how you feel with words, not just feelings. Don’t let yourself get walked over, but don’t sink down to their level either. It’s a balance.
3. Move on. Vent to a friend if needed, then let it go. There are 100 positive comments for every 1 negative one. If you want to dwell on a comment, pick a really positive one
4. Consider that it might be true – Not if someone calls you the c-word or a transvestite (both of which I’ve been accused of), but if they question you being obsessive, having an eating disorder or something similar. If you are getting a ton of comments questions the same thing, take a second to reevaluate how you come across online. You may be displaying something that isn’t true, but appears distorted.
How do you deal with mean comments (online or in real life)?