A few years ago I gave up sugar as my New Year’s resolution. I wanted to lose weight and decided to go all out and just cut out all sugar from my diet. I read every nutrition label. I turned down dessert. I ate fruit instead of chocolate. I didn’t eat my favorite cereal. I completely eliminated all sweets from my life. I avoided dressings and sauces with a lot of added sugar. I was obsessed.
Looking back on that now it sounds a little sad.
But I thought cold turkey was the way to go. I don’t know what I thought the long term plan was, but I knew I needed to lose 20 pounds and knew not eating sugar would help me get to my goal weight.
I did great! When I did need a treat I found an alternative to white sugar. I created dessert out of the foods that were ‘okay’ (as defined by me). I was the first person I knew that was actually sticking to a hard New Year’s resolution. No one sticks to their resolution, right? Well, I was.
I had given up sugar successfully! But it wasn’t all smooth sailing.
Even though my body was probably not as addicted to sugar as before, I still craved it months later. I missed treats. I missed having dessert. I wanted a bite of cake!
I stayed strong and tried hard to stick to my resolution.
It was around this time of year when things changed… on Easter of that year my boyfriend’s mom gave me an Easter basket filled with candy and goodies. I had dinner with his family. Then, he dropped me off at home with my basket of happiness.
All of the months of restriction and denial had built up and I didn’t have any willpower left. Everything came crashing down as I ate every single piece of candy in the basket alone in my room that night. I made myself sick. I couldn’t stop. The ‘all or nothing’ attitude toward sugar took me from nothing to ALL THE THINGS in one day.
I completely fell off the wagon and found myself in Binge City, population 1.
Ugh. I was so disappointed and mad at myself for failing. I had given up. I could not deny myself anymore. Every single little drop of my willpower had been used up in those previous three months.
I’ve actually heard willpower is a limited resource and you only have a certain amount. So you shouldn’t test your willpower if you don’t need to. And you should set up healthy checks and balances that work for you.
Well, I used it all up that year denying myself cookies at home and cake at birthday parties and more… I still feel like I don’t have as strong of willpower as I used to. Over the course of my dieting history of the past I think I’ve used up my whole lifetime supply.
I was reminded of this today as I was shopping for Easter treats for my family. I could have prevented that huge, pro-longed binge if I would have made smarter, more reasonable choices. It is about moderation. It is about knowing your own body, mind and your needs. Everyone is different. The all or nothing approach can lead you down a bad path. Sure for others it might be the only thing that works (as in the case of alcohol for someone with a drinking problem). But allowing yourself to find a balance that works for you and your life is important for LONG TERM health.
Do you. Always do you.
If you are trying to improve make sure it’s coming from a place of love. Love your body and treat it kindly. Don’t torture yourself with food or exercise. Allow yourself treats and love and indulgences and enough sleep and your favorite foods and anything else that’s important to you.
xoxoxo
Thanks so much for sharing. Funny that I came across this today being that it was posted almost a month ago. I just purged my kitchen of sugar and was sitting here thinking is this even realistic. I have cut way down on the sugar but my cokes and chocolate make me happy :). Sharing your experience helps me to look at this in a different way. A more balanced approach. Thank-you!!!!!
I was one of those few left still smoking. I quit last year after 15 years. It actually wasn’t that hard either. Once you’re ready to quit, you’ll quit. I did pick up running to help get rid of some of the built up anger that comes along with quitting. Thanks for the post. It’s nice to have some little side tricks to help when those cravings come creeping up.
I tried to do the same exact thing for the month of March. A month without sugar, I thought. Easy, I thought. LOL. I made it 11 days. Willpower is a funny thing, but ultimately if you’re fighting with yourself, you’re missing the point. It’s so true to come from a place of love!
http://www.afloatonafullsea.com
I definitely had to learn this lesson the hard way when I was aiming to lose weight too. Thanks for sharing, because I feel like this is really hard for a lot people to understand. When we talk about weight loss the focus needs to shift from restriction to moderation and the simple fact of eating more whole foods 🙂 And I agree with what Amanda said, it’s why I’m not really into the “no this” and “no that” challenges that are so popular on social media right now!
Love this! You are so right! I’m with you….balance! Thanks for sharing
I always relate so well to your posts! Thank you for making me feel like i am normal 🙂
Thank you Terri 🙂
Do you ever read Jill Coleman’s stuff? She writes about moderation and learning not to let food have power over you and honoring your body and all that jazz. A lot like this post! Her newsletter is a reliable source of wisdom on these subjects.
No I haven’t read that, but I have read a lot of Geneen Roth and I love her.
Love this post! I just wrote a blog yesterday about a simular subject .http://justmejennb.com
I titled it, “I have gain a little weight and I’m very cool with that.” I love to experiment with different ideas or approaches to “dieting” but when it comes down to it, I just do me. Restricting only leads to feelings of entrapment. Our bodies are intelligent and they know what we need. If we feed them well and love them unconditionally they will treat us well in return. Thanks for sharing this kind of self love post Monica!
Love this!!! I really couldn’t agree more! I learent the importance of balance the hard way as well and spent way to much time trapped in the binge / purge cycle. For me learning to allow myself all foods in moderation has been so important too. I am so much happier / healthier for it and wouldn’t go back for any promise of weight loss.
Great post and very generous of you to share that. Thank you. I’m at the “last 10-15 pounds” mark now, but I feel amazing in general, not so obsessed about it. Running feels good, and so do other workouts. I love food so much LOL I finally kind of accepted that eating for pleasure is ok. Life balance, you know, especially because I’m the cook for other people too. My vice is salty, not sweet, but I can still binge. Just yesterday I had a bunch of unexpected stress… Farm stuff. I also had a rest day from training, and I failed to eat at any real food at all. Just tortilla chips, Doritos, and a horrible cinnamon roll. Just to get through the day and stay awake late. Anyway I regretted it for a while but made a conscious effort to not take a downward spiral. I slept all night and stayed fresh today, just like normal. No “punishment” diets or cardio, just extra water so I felt dogestively good, haha. And I’m happy.
I hope you’re happy too. You’re a beautiful woman and excellent role model for young women. Big hugs from Oklahoma. Happy Easter, candy or not!! xo
This is exactly how I am when it comes to trying to completely cut things out, I do so well and it’s like bam BINGE TIME! I’ve completely realised it’s important to listen to my body and listen to what it wants. If it wants some sugar, I’ll give it some. 🙂 xxxx
http://www.myhealthycurves.com
Amen!!! this is why I tell people I no longer do any of the “no this” or “no that” challenges
Agree! (We still need to catch up!!)
Your comments about willpower are spot-on! Also, the more stress we put upon ourselves the harder it is to tap into our willpower. I’m all about balance and enjoying the occasional treat, taco, pizza, what have you. I try to show my clients that it’s not an either or world when it comes to food and exercise; it’s okay to slip up now and then because it’s not going to take away all the good things they have already done for their bodies! I’m eating Easter M&Ms right now 🙂
Why are Easter M&Ms so good?! Love them 🙂
I actually have come to realize that allowing myself to eat what I want is better in the long run. When I have a string of bad meals or sweets I feel icky and then I naturally gravitate toward healthier options. Granted I am not thin but I have maintained my weight for many years this way. I am probably about 10 pounds heavier than ideal but it’s a better alternative to being thinner and unhappy with my relationship to food.
Oh yes this! I see friends post on facebook how they really want to lose weight so they start eating salads, skipping sweets, and suffering at the gym over workouts they hate. It never ends well.
I want to reach through the computer and say “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Find workouts that you love, eat that salad but don’t skip the cupcake, LOVE YOURSELF!
I grew up in rural Wisconsin where the diet consists of brown fried food, and if you eat vegetables, they’re drowned in mayonnaise or sugar or jello. When I eat that stuff, I feel awful. I have no energy and just feel sad. I definitely eat fried food and sweets occasionally, but mostly just good stuff. And I’ve come to actually enjoy it because it makes me feel so GOOD (and I’m not depriving myself of that cupcake either). I also don’t think of it as “if I do this workout, I can earn that cupcake.” I just eat the dang cupcake.
Or maybe I’m just a freak because I’m a running addict 😛
Here is my 2 cents. I am going to guess that as a 40 year old mom of 2 teenagers, I am not typical of your bolg followers ( I may be wrong). But I love reading about your adventures. It took me a long time to get to a place where I no longer care what I weigh. I care about my health and fitness. Two years ago I finally got serious about fitness. I am now at one of my higher weights but I am at my smallest size. I eat to fuel my body. I eat bread and sugar and dink wine. Life is short and is meant to be lived not weighed. You are right everybody is different. Find the workout you enjoy, the diet that is sustainable for you, and for goodness sake enjoy dinner with the ones you love and desert if you want it.
This speaks to my soul. I know sugar is bad, but it is also so good. There is a 100% chance I’ll be getting into some candy this weekend. Happy Easter!
i always have internal battles similar to this. Over the years ive found eating daily little treats like a chocolate square or a cup of hot chocolate or a bowl of sugary cereal keeps my cravings away! Loved the honesty in this post!
Thank you SO much for this post Monica. I find that I have a very similar problem of thinking restriction is the answer and then completely going the opposite direction toward a binge. I love your honesty and I think knowing other women have those same moments of “let-me-eat-everything-in-sight-alone-in-my-room” is comforting. Plus a peep every now and then really does make you happy 🙂