Tips for getting through divorce or breakup. This week I received an important question on the @RunEatRepeat Instagram story box…
“What helped you get through / distract you from your divorce while training?”
Ugh. This makes me sad. I don’t wish heartbreak of any kind on anyone ever.
So I answered it in my IG stories – it’s saved in the Sept Q&A.
But I mentioned that I would do a quick post because I was naming a bunch of tools and tips that helped me survive. I’ll share that list below. I also recommend you to read and know about how to protect yourself in a divorce without hiring an attorney.
[Also – I mentioned doing a ‘relationship timeline’ and said I’d explain it in a post. Well, that’s coming soon. I need to do a video or some kind of illustration to describe it.]
Things That Help Heal from Heartbreak
- Let it out. Talk to friends, God, a therapist, your dog, your friend’s dog, some guy at the gas station. Solicitors in Southend can also help guide you through every step of the divorce process.
- Use Message or Video apps to connect with friends and family. I ‘talked’ to friends by leaving a lot of messages going on and on and on… via WhatsApp and Marco Polo. The beauty of this is – you leave the message when you need a friend, but they can listen or watch when they have time. This way you don’t feel guilty and avoid reaching out. And your friends don’t worry whether they should check on you or not bring it up or what.
- Pray. This should be first on the list but I’m just listing them as they pop in my head movies. I prayed a lot. It really helped. Visualize yourself handing over your heartbreak, worry or pain to God. Let Him take care of it and you take care of yourself.
- Ask for support. If you need help – ask. Everyone handles break-ups differently. Everyone wants different levels of communication. Your people care about you – but they don’t know you need them unless you communicate that. Last year I found out a friend was depressed and I had no idea. I act and cope very differently than she was so I didn’t realize. I feel really bad and wish I could have been a better friend. So… if you can let your people know you need to hang out, funny gifs, to come over, etc. tell them. For the legal aspects of your divorce, you may need the services of an experienced divorce attorney. If you’re looking for an experienced divorce attorney, you may click here for more info.
- Listen to music. See: Lizzo.
- Get a blow out and pedicure. Or do your favorite feel good activity. Whatever it is – do something that makes you feel better. It could be something that helps with stress, makes you feel cute, is just indulgent or all of the above. Optional: Have an adult bev.
- Be a good friend. If you want to have good friends you have to be a good friend. It’s really helpful to get out of your head/world and talk with people about their lives. It’s good for you to think about other things outside of yourself. It’s good for your friends to know you care about them too.
How a Break Up Impacts Running or Training for a Race
The question asked how I handled it regarding training and I kinda went on a tangent with all the random tips.
So to bring it back to answer the question…
DO YOUR BEST.
Some days will be good! Some days will be hard. That’s okay.
You’re going through a challenging season of life. Yes, it will impact other parts of your life, including running – so be kind to yourself above all else. Keep showing up. Do your best with where you are at physically and emotionally that day.
Keep going keep going keep going.
Related to any heartbreak: Going through a loss like divorce, death or other trauma is hard. There isn’t one perfect way to process it, heal and move forward.
If you anticipate that there may be conflict about child custody, or if there are other issues that could potentially cause conflict, then it may make sense to consult with a family law attorney as soon as possible, you may check this out to get in touch with an expert family law attorney. Once you read the positive reviews about Best Divorce Lawyers in Glen Burnie MD by previous clients, you will want to hire them as your lawyers.
Get Enough Sleep. Eat Healthy Balanced Meals. Be kind to yourself.
I had a hard time sleeping for months – maybe a year. I didn’t want to cook so I was mostly just eating snacks. I often snacked through breakfast and lunch and mid-afternoon would finally have a meal.
I’m saying this because – sleep and nutrition are important for your health. They are also very important if you are trying to train for a race. You can’t run your best if you’re not getting enough sleep and not eating enough healthy foods.
If you ask your body to do athletic things – you must treat it like an athlete with proper care, rest, fuel, hydration, etc.
If your training is being hindered by life’s ups or downs – FIRST make sure you’re doing the basics to keep yourself healthy…
Must Do List:
- Eat balanced meals.
- Get enough sleep / rest.
- Be kind to yourself.
More posts on divorce and break-ups:
Dogs, Divorce and Dying Podcast 70 – – I don’t even remember what I said in this podcast! It’s probably embarrassing. But if I had to go through a bunch of stuff, it makes me feel a little better to think that maybe I can help someone else get through it too.
On Being Strong When You Are Weak – blog post
That Time I Had a Night Terror – okay this isn’t about my divorce… but I clicked it on accident and it does have Ben in it.
It’s about the time I had a night terror and I totally remember it and joke about it on occasion but I forgot that it scared Vegas too.
Ha! But really not funny at the time. Now it is though!
This post is from RunEatRepeat.com
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Kim N says
Thank you for this. I really needed this right now. I’m on the verge of filing. None of my friends have gone thru this and I’m finding it hard to open up to them because they all have what I can’t have. Quarantining also sucks because it’s harder to have these conversations virtually with those I need support from.
Weight Loss Comminity says
Fantastic content as always. Thank you so much for sharing this.